Possible Suckage
Hence why I feel the need to write!
Okay, you already know that I'm in this philosophy class and it hasn't been too easy. I've managed to do pretty well on the past two papers though-- a B+ on the Kierkegaard one and a B on the Nietzsche one. Normally I wouldn't be happy with grades in the B range, but it IS a challenging class, and philosophy isn't my "thing," though I do enjoy it.
We have to write three of these papers, but I skipped the one on Heidegger partly because my group did the presentation regarding him (that wasn't graded) and because I didn't understand him all that well. I looked at the list of possible paper questions, but I didn't have a clue on ANY of them. Our last paper was to be on Merleau-Ponty, who I understood a lot better. I picked a question that had to do on the differences of perception between humans and non-humans and how this relates to his philosophy of art. The first part is answered very clearly in the book we had to read; his philosophy concerning art was also in a long essay that we had to read, and although we barely touched on it in class, I read it a handful of times and felt secure with it. So, I wrote my paper and actually felt okay with it for once.
I got a C+. Me! C+! I have only ever gotten ONE other C+ in my *entire 6.5 years of college* and that was only because the professor was an incredibly hard grader. But even slightly more concerning than the grade itself is that I *thought* I had a good grasp on what I wrote about. That was why I got the grade I did. . .I didn't even look through all his comments, just the ones at the end, in which the professor said (not verbatim) "you completely misinterpreted MP's ideas."
And now I'm scared about the final for that class. We can either take an in-class essay exam or write an 8-10 page paper. As you may recall, I tentatively opted for the paper, hoping to write about various philosophers' ideas on history. I got back the abstract and he thinks my idea is a good one, but he listed a billion different sources than the ones I planned on using, and he suggested a different philosopher from one of the ones I chose. But I'm so nervous about doing this paper now, because we didn't go over ANY of these philosophies of history in class, so what if I've misinterpreted these, too? I CANNOT do poorly on this paper-- it's worth an obscene amount of our grade. I don't think I'll fail the class, but I already know I'm not getting an A or A-. I'd even accept a C at this point, though it'll really effect my GPA. No more summa cum laude for me (or whatever the high honors are). :(
So maybe you're thinking I should try taking the test instead, and I considered that option myself. . .until he handed out a list of the questions he's going to choose from. The only one I feel I could answer with ANY certainty is on Kierkegaard. Sure, I'd have until next Thursday to research a little and come up with answers for the rest of them, but I'm so afraid of being wrong now and I really do think the paper will be easier.
What to do? I'm definitely going to email the professor tonight and ask if there's any way I can meet up with him next week before the paper's due to MAKE SURE I'm not headed in the wrong direction with my paper. And I'm definitely going to tell him I'm so concerned because I thought I understood Merleau-Ponty, but obviously I did not and I DON'T want that to happen in my final paper! I also think I'm going to have to cancel the NYC trip on Saturday because I have all these new sources that I need to read through-- and let's not forget that I have a 12 page history take home exam due Wednesday, too! Unfortunately, the play I wanted to see only runs through December 23rd and I don't think Rich can go *next* saturday because he's playing AirSoft or something. But hopefully I can do *something* mildly fun on Saturday night, cuz at this point it looks like I'll be flipping through philosophy books all day. :(
I should have just taken another 300 level history class instead. As long as you know a little context, I don't think it's possible to misinterpret historical documents! :p
Okay, you already know that I'm in this philosophy class and it hasn't been too easy. I've managed to do pretty well on the past two papers though-- a B+ on the Kierkegaard one and a B on the Nietzsche one. Normally I wouldn't be happy with grades in the B range, but it IS a challenging class, and philosophy isn't my "thing," though I do enjoy it.
We have to write three of these papers, but I skipped the one on Heidegger partly because my group did the presentation regarding him (that wasn't graded) and because I didn't understand him all that well. I looked at the list of possible paper questions, but I didn't have a clue on ANY of them. Our last paper was to be on Merleau-Ponty, who I understood a lot better. I picked a question that had to do on the differences of perception between humans and non-humans and how this relates to his philosophy of art. The first part is answered very clearly in the book we had to read; his philosophy concerning art was also in a long essay that we had to read, and although we barely touched on it in class, I read it a handful of times and felt secure with it. So, I wrote my paper and actually felt okay with it for once.
I got a C+. Me! C+! I have only ever gotten ONE other C+ in my *entire 6.5 years of college* and that was only because the professor was an incredibly hard grader. But even slightly more concerning than the grade itself is that I *thought* I had a good grasp on what I wrote about. That was why I got the grade I did. . .I didn't even look through all his comments, just the ones at the end, in which the professor said (not verbatim) "you completely misinterpreted MP's ideas."
And now I'm scared about the final for that class. We can either take an in-class essay exam or write an 8-10 page paper. As you may recall, I tentatively opted for the paper, hoping to write about various philosophers' ideas on history. I got back the abstract and he thinks my idea is a good one, but he listed a billion different sources than the ones I planned on using, and he suggested a different philosopher from one of the ones I chose. But I'm so nervous about doing this paper now, because we didn't go over ANY of these philosophies of history in class, so what if I've misinterpreted these, too? I CANNOT do poorly on this paper-- it's worth an obscene amount of our grade. I don't think I'll fail the class, but I already know I'm not getting an A or A-. I'd even accept a C at this point, though it'll really effect my GPA. No more summa cum laude for me (or whatever the high honors are). :(
So maybe you're thinking I should try taking the test instead, and I considered that option myself. . .until he handed out a list of the questions he's going to choose from. The only one I feel I could answer with ANY certainty is on Kierkegaard. Sure, I'd have until next Thursday to research a little and come up with answers for the rest of them, but I'm so afraid of being wrong now and I really do think the paper will be easier.
What to do? I'm definitely going to email the professor tonight and ask if there's any way I can meet up with him next week before the paper's due to MAKE SURE I'm not headed in the wrong direction with my paper. And I'm definitely going to tell him I'm so concerned because I thought I understood Merleau-Ponty, but obviously I did not and I DON'T want that to happen in my final paper! I also think I'm going to have to cancel the NYC trip on Saturday because I have all these new sources that I need to read through-- and let's not forget that I have a 12 page history take home exam due Wednesday, too! Unfortunately, the play I wanted to see only runs through December 23rd and I don't think Rich can go *next* saturday because he's playing AirSoft or something. But hopefully I can do *something* mildly fun on Saturday night, cuz at this point it looks like I'll be flipping through philosophy books all day. :(
I should have just taken another 300 level history class instead. As long as you know a little context, I don't think it's possible to misinterpret historical documents! :p
posted by Erica at 4:37 PM
2 Comments:
I have a similar story - I did a philosophy major and an English minor.
These days, I'm not sure why I did the English minor, because I sucked at English.
In my final English class - authority and identity in Australian literature - I got a Pass.
It was a shock at first, but in the end it didn't matter. I had passed the class, and moved on to other things.
---
Talking to your professor to find out what went wrong sounds a good thing. I'm not sure about cancelling your holiday - as you've been through a rough trot lately - and a break may be what you need.
Alternatively, if you go on a break and are anxious about an exam the whole time, it's not much of a break.
---
I think I'd also explore the question "Why does the grade matter so much? What's at stake here?"
Good news: my philosophy professor responded to my email.
Bad news: He has absolutely NO available office hours before my paper is due! Since he's the head of the philosophy and honors department, I guess other students booked appointments with him awhile ago. That's definitely NOT fair, seeing as I just got my paper/feedback on my abstract yesterday afternoon. Grrr. But the rest of his email essentially said that the topic I wrote my paper on (the C+ one) is easy to misconstrue, so it wasn't necessarily me being incompetant. He seems to think that I'll do okay, but I'm still a little worried. The only possible time I *could* meet with him briefly would be Wednesday afternoon. . .the day before the paper's due. I plan on working on that paper for most of tomorrow-- if I'm still feeling unsure of myself, I will go ahead and schedule the appointment, even if it's just five minutes. Can't hurt to try, and at least he knows that I DO care about my grade in this class and I'm really trying to do well.
Why I care about getting a good grade is actually a good topic for my next entry. but since I'm still not "officially" writing posts, it will have to wait!
Post a Comment
<< Home