What Do I Want?
Continuation of my comments from my first entry of the day. :p
As I was saying. . .
Now that more and more of my friends and the people I know *are* graduating college, and *are* getting "real" jobs, and *are* getting married, I find myself both envious and not. I think what I crave is the stability, but by that I do NOT mean settling for just any job or for the first person who comes along, etc.
When I was talking to Dr. Sterne about some of my future plans, I had only briefly mentioned that I'd just be working in retail (most likely) at the same time. Once she heard about all these other things, she was like "wow, so it seems like your job really will be secondary." Yes, pretty much. At least for now. I don't consider this settling for anything. Clearly, if I start working somewhere and I *hate* it, I won't stay. I'm just looking for something that will pay me enough for an apartment and other necessities, and that I don't *mind* doing. Hell, I've said that I would stay at Brooks if only they'd pay me enough (but that would never happen unless I became a store manager! haha)! I don't know, to me it's just the reality of the situation; I'd love to be able to *only* pursue radical activities or work with horses, etc. but sadly you do need money to get by in this world, and working is the only way of getting it.
And whatever I do end up doing, it's not like that's IT, that's THE job I'm going to be stuck at forever. That's the type of "traditional" job-life that kills me and that I wholeheartedly DISagree with. I could never get any old job at this age and stay with it for the rest of my life; I want to be able to travel someday, and do my research and writing. Not that I don't plan on doing that to some extent all along, but I never want to feel tied down to just one company, or one place.
And the retail situation is only temporary. Hopefully someday I'll be able to work in some area that I *do* find fulfilling, but for now, like I said, the job is secondary.
My friends that have already graduated and have "real" jobs, or are working towards one, are happy with their decisions. They love what they do and I think that's great. If I could or did find a job that I really enjoyed, then hell yes, I'd stick with it. . .but I wouldn't forget the rest of my life and sell my soul for that job.
I want the freedom that I mentioned above, but then I do like the idea of settling down. I want a house and some land and some animals. I want someone who's happy with whatever they're doing and is also going to support whatever I'm doing. That's the part of the "traditional" life that I do want, as I said. I see little reason why one can't have that *and* continue to pursue one's goals, or to make a difference in the world.
As someone who loves planning and knowing what's ahead, it makes sense that I feel a bit envious of my friends that *do* have it all figured out. It's not that I envy their lives, per se, but it would be nice to have ANY idea of what's in store over the next 2, 5, 10 years.
I hope that makes any sense. :p And of course, this is all *my* opinion; everyone has to decide these things for themselves.
As I was saying. . .
Now that more and more of my friends and the people I know *are* graduating college, and *are* getting "real" jobs, and *are* getting married, I find myself both envious and not. I think what I crave is the stability, but by that I do NOT mean settling for just any job or for the first person who comes along, etc.
When I was talking to Dr. Sterne about some of my future plans, I had only briefly mentioned that I'd just be working in retail (most likely) at the same time. Once she heard about all these other things, she was like "wow, so it seems like your job really will be secondary." Yes, pretty much. At least for now. I don't consider this settling for anything. Clearly, if I start working somewhere and I *hate* it, I won't stay. I'm just looking for something that will pay me enough for an apartment and other necessities, and that I don't *mind* doing. Hell, I've said that I would stay at Brooks if only they'd pay me enough (but that would never happen unless I became a store manager! haha)! I don't know, to me it's just the reality of the situation; I'd love to be able to *only* pursue radical activities or work with horses, etc. but sadly you do need money to get by in this world, and working is the only way of getting it.
And whatever I do end up doing, it's not like that's IT, that's THE job I'm going to be stuck at forever. That's the type of "traditional" job-life that kills me and that I wholeheartedly DISagree with. I could never get any old job at this age and stay with it for the rest of my life; I want to be able to travel someday, and do my research and writing. Not that I don't plan on doing that to some extent all along, but I never want to feel tied down to just one company, or one place.
And the retail situation is only temporary. Hopefully someday I'll be able to work in some area that I *do* find fulfilling, but for now, like I said, the job is secondary.
My friends that have already graduated and have "real" jobs, or are working towards one, are happy with their decisions. They love what they do and I think that's great. If I could or did find a job that I really enjoyed, then hell yes, I'd stick with it. . .but I wouldn't forget the rest of my life and sell my soul for that job.
I want the freedom that I mentioned above, but then I do like the idea of settling down. I want a house and some land and some animals. I want someone who's happy with whatever they're doing and is also going to support whatever I'm doing. That's the part of the "traditional" life that I do want, as I said. I see little reason why one can't have that *and* continue to pursue one's goals, or to make a difference in the world.
As someone who loves planning and knowing what's ahead, it makes sense that I feel a bit envious of my friends that *do* have it all figured out. It's not that I envy their lives, per se, but it would be nice to have ANY idea of what's in store over the next 2, 5, 10 years.
I hope that makes any sense. :p And of course, this is all *my* opinion; everyone has to decide these things for themselves.
posted by Erica at 10:10 PM
1 Comments:
I'm with you, Erica. I've spent the last six months living off my savings, working out what I want to do with my life. I came to pretty much the same conclusions as you did.
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Having travelled down a path which sounds the same for the last 6/7 years, here's some tips (at least what I think are tips)
- See jobs as only a source of income - not as a source of happiness or fulfilment. Jobs are, at their end, a commerical enterprise engineered to make money for someone else, not meaning for you. In the end, the commercial purpose will override your ability to get meaning and fulfilment from your job.
- See your life outside jobs as the source of happiness and fulfilment. You have full control over this time - no one else can veto your decisions you make about your own time. In being free, you are fully in control about what it is and how it can be set up.
- Once you have the money to pay the bills, seek fulfilment in the time that remains in the week.
- Money is the key to society. But it's not the amount of money you earn that matters. It's earning enough money to cover your living expenses. This can be achieved by earning more or living a less expensive life. I tend to live the less expensive life which means I don't have to hold down a job as viciously as others.
- Buy a small flat, unit, apartment, little house first off, not a large house. Once you have paid it off, you have a place to call your own. It becomes a place to which you can retreat which no-one can take away from you. If money starts flowing in, upgrade to a larger house. But, it gives us a great deal of stability to own our unit.
- If you work, work to build skills. Don't work to please managers or companies. I've talked to some older men, and the ones that are in demand are those with skills. The ones who worked to a job, don't have as much flexibility/reward to their lives - especially after the job changed and no longer supported them.
- To work to build up skills, choose an area of interest for you, like horses or history. Begin to see yourself as a sort of craftsperson in this area and develop the skills in this area. For example, with horses you can do stable cleaning, horse management, horse genealogy (horse history), organising stable cleaning, horse breeder community creation.
You know the industry better than me. Start thinking about what you can do that horse owners would value and build up these skills.
The trick is to keep building up skills and find people to pay you for them. Over time, you will be seen as an expert in your field, and people will seek you out.
- Another trick to skill building is specialisation. Specialise in skills and become an expert in them. If you're a generalist - good at a bit of everything - you can't stand out from the crowd and people will not seek you out.
- I found it really helpful to find books and tools to do soul searching/therapy/exploration work on perfectionism, faith, the work ethic, achievement, jobs. In understanding these parts of myself and my life, I got control over them, rather than them controlling me.
- You are unique. You experiences of life are not universal. You have different experiences of life to everyone else. You have different traits and skills to everyone else. Not everyone else shares your perspective on life or your approach to life.
Don't think everyone is the same as you. They are not.
- Never give up your self questioning or examination. It is a strength which very few people have.
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This is the advice I would give myself today. I hope you find something of use in it.
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