Messiest Day Yet

I'm torn.

I don't mind the hard work, I don't even mind getting up early. But I'm pretty sure that once school starts, I'm not going to be able to work at the barn M-F. It's just too much. I'll be working 26 hours at Brooks, and if you figure 2 hours every day with the horses, that's 36 hours of work-- not including whatever I'll have to do for the 2 classes I'm taking! I'll give it a shot for the first week of school, but I would not be surprised if my schedule will have to change. If Sharon gets upset, well, then I guess she can just find someone else. (Hell, I took a freaking nap today. I NEVER take naps, never have. But I was so very exhausted this afternoon that I just dozed off. Definitely not something I want happening on a regular basis!)

I've been trying damn hard to get the place looking nice, but it's so impossible. I honestly think the stalls need to be completely stripped of bedding, the rubber mats need to be washed and it should all be started from scratch. I'm *still* finding hidden, days old manure. . .not whole piles, but little scattered pieces EVERYWHERE, in all the stalls. I actually picked bits up *with my hands* because they tend to be too small for the pitchfork to get. Yeah, it's a good thing they weren't fresh. :p

I just don't understand how the stalls can be so bad, day after day. It really makes me wonder if it IS just me and maybe I'm not cleaning them well enough. By the time I was semi-through the 2nd stall today, I was just so frustrated. I started thinking that maybe the professors at VI were right, that I don't put in enough effort and that I'm not cut out to work around horses afterall. But then I started to get mad at Sharon, wondering if SHE could do a better job, why she even continues to *own* horses if she can no longer take care of them herself. Mind you, she hasn't given me any kind of feedback yet, so maybe she thinks what I've been doing is okay; I was just angry at the situation.

Like I said, I don't mind the hard work. I just hate feeling as though everything I've done is futile. Taking 45 minutes to clean one stall is pathetic, but the only way I could finish it in a shorter amount of time would mean doing a half-assed job. And it's not even that I'm afraid of Sharon being displeased, but a messy stall can be bad for the horses' health and especially the condition of their hooves. I don't want to be responsible for anything that harms them and that's another huge reason I need to do a quality job.

Anyway. . .

Tomorrow's Thursday already? Jeez. Feels like *last* Thursday was 10 years ago! All I'm doing tomorrow is going to the barn and then going to URI to print out some things, drop off some library books, and maybe buy the books for my classes. Hopefully I won't need too many, but history professors love to make us buy 25 books for each class, most of which can't be sold back at all or for more than a dollar at the end of the semester. :p Then Rich and I are getting together in the evening, as usual, and that'll probably be it. I'll play a few rounds of Katamari Damacy and be in bed by 12, if not earlier. My life is too exciting, heh.

Later!

The Next Step

I have a lot to say about the horse situation (and also to reply to Pax's comments) but I will get into it tonight.

For now. . .

You know that I am moving into Rich's apartment and will actually be *living* there as of next Monday. This is all well and good, but. . .will it get weird?

We are still together as of right now, but what happens when we aren't? What happens if we start seeing other people while we're still living together?

It's hard to answer thse questions now. Barring the "other people" part, Rich and I don't think it will be weird to live together even if *we're* not together. We'll still be friends and there's no reason why that should change. And we've never been the type to stifle each other from doing our own activities, spending time with our own friends, etc. so we're used to spending time apart. I guess we'd have to stop going out to dinner every week, unless Rich wants to keep paying for my meals, haha. Otherwise, I don't have the extra income to throw around like that too often, so that's something *I* will have to get used to. :p

The only other possibly weird thing we could foresee is that we'll still be sleeping in the same bed. There was a fleeting thought of getting an extra cot, but I don't see the need. It's very possible to be sleeping together but not actually doing anything physical, you know? So I don't see the problem, but again, there's the whole "what if another person comes along" thing.

We were talking about all of this last night; this and the directly related topic: when? We've brought this up several times, but neither of us has come up with an answer yet. It's tough and it's not fun to think about. I spent so much time grieving during that one week awhile ago that maybe the idea doesn't worry me *so* much, but the finality of actually breaking up still scares me. There's no going back. :/ But is it wrong for us to keep prolonging the inevitable? I have to admit that sometimes I think that cuz I'm going back to school, maybe I should be available during this last semester, see what happens.

I just don't know. No matter what happens, I'm just gonna keep going about my days. If Rich and I stay together awhile longer, good; if we break up, someone will fall into place eventually, or maybe I'm just meant to be single for awhile. Not going to stress over this. Will not.

It's Early, But Hey

Early to be writing an entry today, I mean.

Today was a little smoother at the barn, but I was still there for about 2 hours. The best word to describe this morning is wet. The horses couldn't even go out because it was raining pretty heavily the whole time I was there, so I had to tie them out in the aisle one at a time while I cleaned their stalls. They were very messy again today, so I guess that's just how they are.

When I talked with Sharon about the job last Saturday, she complained to me about one of the last girls she hired, and how she used to take an insane amount of shavings out of the stalls everyday. Sharon didn't like this because she had to keep buying packages of new bedding, since this girl went through so much of it. At the time, I agreed that was unnecessary-- but now I think that girl had the right idea! Sharon doesn't want too much bedding in the stalls anyway, so I didn't replace any yesterday and only used one bag between two of the stalls today. Problem is, none of the three horses are particularly "neat." Sometimes horses will have one corner that they always go in with another area as the designated pee spot. Not so with these guys. One of the horses is especially bad, and his stall's taken me the longest both times. Also, she uses rubber mats underneath the shavings and those don't absorb pee at all, so the spots tend to get really spread out and huge. I'm trying not to be wasteful, but I can totally understand how the previous girl went through so much bedding.

Yeah, but the "best" part of the morning was right before I left, when I had to go dump out the wheelbarrows. The manure pile is not very close to the barn (fire hazard and attracts flies, otherwise) and, as I said, it was raining steadily. That in itself was not a problem; what WAS troublesome was how the path to the pile was more like one long pond. And there was no way around it or other way to get there! :/ You may remember how my parents "accidentally" threw out my old barn boots, so I've just been wearing my old sneakers instead.

Big, deep puddle - 4
My sneakers - 0

The best thing was, the closer you got to the pile, the more the "water" actually became run-off from the manure and pee-soaked bedding. It was unavoidable. Besides, I'd be walking through the cleaner water again on my way back to the barn, heh.

So yeah, time to invest in a new pair of work boots, methinks. :p

Gonna start moving things into Rich's apartment tonight. It's mostly going to be odds and ends for now. There are a lot of things I can't really bring over there til last minute.

Ice cream time!

First Day

I'm gonna be so sore tomorrow.

Today was my first day working at the barn, and work it *was.* I expected to be there for about 2 hours today, but I was there about 30 minutes longer than that and could have probably stayed the full 3 hours!

Getting the horses out to the pasture was no problem. Cleaning and filling the water buckets was no problem. Mucking out the stalls WAS a problem. I really, really hope they were so dirty because no one has done a good job with them lately. We always had to clean our lesson horse's stall at VI, and it never took me as long as it took me to do each stall today. The task itself is not difficult-- take out the obvious manure piles, shovel out the peed on bedding and then fluff up the remaining bedding, banking it along one wall (and adding more if necessary). But, especially in the first stall I did, there was so much old, hidden crap (literally!) when I went to fluff up the bedding, I swear I was ready to cry. There *is* a small possiblity that these horses really are just messy when they're in their stalls, and maybe this is how it's going to be every day. Well, what are you gonna do? But I'm willing to bet that's not the case.

The other thing that took awhile was cleaning the barn itself. Sharon likes the place to look neat, so she asked me to sweep/vacuum the main aisle and around the stall doors and also to get rid of any cobwebs I found. Again, this is all very much easier said than done. Obviously I couldn't do this before cleaning the stalls, so by the time I got to this particular chore, I was beat. I did the best I could, but it wasn't as clean as it could have been. I also decided not to muck out the main pasture until tomorrow nor refill the pile of hay that's kept downstairs. I also needed to get home relatively early today to make sure I'd have enough time to do laundry before work; tomorrow I'm not doing anything until the evening, so I could spend all morning there if I wanted to. We'll see.

And keep in mind that, as she said, if it keeps taking me longer than expected to do these things, I can (and will!) ask for a raise. :p

I have to admit I'm a tiny bit worried. Yes, I spent a lot of time on the stalls but I'm convinced that I could have done a better job. It's hard to know what one person's definition of a "well cleaned stall" is because it all comes down to one's own opinion. Guess I will find out tomorrow, if she leaves me any extra notes in the tack room. I don't think she'll be displeased, maybe she'll have a few suggestions, but that's okay.

Oh, and I am so taking my old radio/CD player with me tomorrow. A little background music can't hurt.


**********************


I got an email from my friend Jen yesterday morning. Turns out that she and her boyfriend got engaged recently, so she wanted to share the good news.

Well, that's great for them and I'm happy for them, etc, etc. No, I'm not being sarcastic. :p They're not getting married until she finishes grad school though, so it's not going to be for awhile.

Personally, I've never been too enthused by the whole "traditional wedding" thing, and kinda think it's a waste of money! I don't want a fancy dress that I'm never going to wear again, I wouldn't even *have* bridesmaids since I have like two female friends, and why go out and get a fancy cake when a devil's food cake with marshmallow frosting from Entenmann's is tasty and cheap? :p I don't know, other people can do what they want but the whole thing is not for me. Rich and I had thought about it, of course, but he was more into it than I was! haha I *do* want to get married some day, but all I want is a simple affair with a few family members, a few friends and some good food.

My parents have even said they'd be happy if I just eloped, so that's always an option, haha.

Well, not like I have to think about this for awhile anyway. :p


************


Dammit! I just found out that a group is being organized through the Wake Up Walmart website to go out to Waterfire this Saturday to distribute info and get more people to sign the "I won't buy back to school supplies at Hell*Mart" pledge. If I weren't going to the Green Day concert, I would so very much be there. Why couldn't they fall on different Saturdays? ;0

All for now. Going to bed a little earlier tonight just cuz. I must admit that's the sucky part to working at the farm. I miss being up late already!

Summer In Review?

Yup, summer's basically over, what with school starting in almost a week. I accomplished almost everything I wanted to do, except I did not start taking riding lessons and therefore haven't been on a horse at all. But with my new job starting tomorrow, it's hard for me to complain (although riding is *not* part of the deal). I know I've been a little bit braver; instead of sitting around talking about things I wanted to do, I went ahead and *did* them. It's not easy for me, but so much more worthwhile than waiting around.

There have been a lot of changes and unexpected events in my life since May, almost all of which I've talked about to some degree in here. And even though I know things are going to change even more drastically from now until next year, I think I'm a little more prepared for whatever happens. Just a tiny bit. Nothing in my future is a sure bet, so we're all just gonna have to wait and see.


*********

And things continue to be interesting.

Tomorrow is my first day working at the barn. Sure enough, it's supposed to rain which might make my chores trickier. Sharon said to let the horses out unless it's really raining hard, but her definition might be different from mine. Hmm. Weather.com said there was just a 30% chance of rain all day, so hopefully it either won't at all or will just be sprinkling while I'm there. Then again, weather.com also said it was supposed to thunderstorm the entire time we were in Boston a few weeks ago, and it was a perfectly sunny day! So, keep your fingers crossed. ._.

Otherwise, I've planned exactly how I want to do things and I'm hoping it'll just take me 2 hours max. I think Mondays are always gonna be longer days for me cuz the guy who takes care of them on the weekends doesn't typically clean the barn or the stalls as well as she'd like them done. If I clean everything really thoroughly on Monday morning though, it should stay relatively neat through the rest of the week. I kinda wish Tuesday were my first day instead just because that's all I'm doing until the afternoon, so I could spend tons of time getting everything just so, whereas tomorrow, I need to do laundry and be ready to leave for Brooks at 12:30! Maybe you should cross some more fingers, hehe.

Found out that my parents are selling my bedroom set next Friday, so I literally won't have a place to sleep here anymore! Thus, I'll be moving into Rich's apartment over this week and the next, a little at a time. I'm probably not going to be spending much time at the condo at all, which is kinda good since North Smithfield is so far out of the way. I don't know when I'm gonna begin looking for an apartment, but I imagine I'll just be staying with Rich until I get a place of my own. Depends where I end up working, depends if I'm still taking care of the horses, etc. But in any case, I'll be a West Warwick resident for the rest of the year (I started to write "Starbucks resident" cuz I was thinking of the one that's right near there, haha).

That's all the news for now. I won't be online any later than midnight from now on since I have to get up so early. No more 2am, 3am nights. . .except maybe on Fridays. :p

:)

It's official-- I'm a paid barn worker! Yay!

Every Monday through Friday, starting next week, I have to let Sharon's 3 horses out, feed/water them, clean their stalls, and clean up the barn. Awesome.

Well, it does suck a tiny bit that I have to be there at 7am, but that's what the horses are used to so I'm willing to sacrifice a few hours of sleep so as not to throw off their routine.

The good part is, I'm getting paid $20 a day. That's like getting that much per hour because it's not going to take me much longer to do everything! Plus, Sharon said that if I find that it takes me much longer than that *and* I do a quality job, she's willing to pay me even more. O_O I am so NOT doing this for the money-- hell, I'd probably do it for free!-- but you gotta admit that's a pretty sweet deal. Maybe I *won't* need to move to Kentucky afterall, haha.

I'm sure it's going to take me a little while to get used to working with these particular horses since they all have their individual quirks, just like humans do, but I'm not worried. I'm sure once I get a routine established everything will be great. Since I'll be the first one in the barn every morning, I'll have to take the proper action if, say, a horse gets injured during the night or loses a shoe, etc. etc. It's a lot of responsibility, but I know I can handle it. Still, I hope there aren't any major mishaps during my first few weeks! ;p

Well, I guess that's it for now. I may write another entry tonight on my family's yard sale that was this morning, but we'll see. We're about to head out the door to go to China Buffet, but I couldn't wait to share the good news with my faithful readers, hehe.

Remember. . .

the horse story I promised I'd post like a month ago?

This isn't it.

BUT, I've been browsing through the Steed Read (it's a monthly publication of horses and related stuff for sale) and found an ad for a horse in EG that sounds a LOT like the one I was writing about. If only I had $4500 and a place to keep her (and, you know, enough $$ to pay for upkeep), she'd be mine. I *was* the one who taught her voice commands and helped train her afterall. :p

There are two Angela Lansburys on The Facebook. Not that I've changed my info to hers, but I do have a picture of her in Sweeney Todd as my photo! I bet the other people aren't actually fans of her though, so I win.

We're losing 4 people at work after this weekend. The weeks when school starts/ends always lead to worker shortages, but this time Lora *really* f'd up cuz she hasn't hired ANYONE yet. Not one person! This leaves exactly 4 of us cashiers, Chris, "Kevin," and Joyce and Lora. Doesn't help that "Kevin" is on vacation this coming week, so we're actually having an assistant manager from another store come help us close on the nights he'd normally be there. Luckily, I already know who it is (Matt, you might remember Erin V. from high school) and I know she remembers me cuz I've had to run errands to her store. I already know we'll work well together (she's worked at our store before), which is good because it'll probably just be her and I the entire afternoon/night!

I really should go to bed cuz my parents are making me get up at 5am so I can help them set everything up in our yard. Gah, maybe it's GOOD that I have no plans cuz I'll probably be asleep by 8! Actually, I'm hoping at least my Dad will be up for a Dunkin Donuts run before the yard sale begins cuz there's no way in hell I'm going all day without caffeine. I'll go on strike and let everyone take what they want for free, haha.

I've stopped listening to ASU all day, everyday. Well, maybe still once a day. The Smashing Pumpkin's Mellon Collie. . . are the CDs I've been listening to the most lately. It had been awhile, and I must say that I'd forgotten how many good songs there are.

Okay, goodnight!

Answering Machines = Hate

haha, I just called the lady about the horses again and had to leave a message. I always plan what I'm going to say beforehand but it never works out quite so simply. :p I sounded like a complete dolt cuz first I totally stumbled over my own name and then instead of saying "hope to be hearing from you soon" I said "hope to be getting back to you soon" since my brain apparently liked that better. And then I realized how completely idiotic that sounded and I just hung up. Even though she knows me, I should have said "I'm much better with horses than I am at leaving messages." ._.

I just don't like phones in general. I'll only call people if I have no other way of reaching them and the only time I don't stress over what to say is if it's someone I know really well. Like at work, if we're supposed to call someone when their pictures come in or whatever, I'll get someone else to do it. Even if all I have to do is tell someone their pictures arrived, I absolutely cannot. Calling an absolute stranger is out of the question.

I seriously have some kind of problem when I speak though, I swear. I often stumble over words or say the wrong word or mispronounce what I *do* mean to say. Sheesh. Oddly enough, I'm good at speaking in front of people. I've had to do presentations in several of my classes and I've always done well and usually gotten compliments from my professors! I guess it's a good thing that I'm comfortable in that type of formal situation because it seems like *that* is what most people struggle with.

And as I write this last paragraph, I just got off the phone with Sharon, who apparently got my retarded message. We're meeting up tomorrow at 4pm, so she can show me around her farm and she'll explain what she wants me to do and on what days of the week. So I guess my message didn't astound her too much! hehe

If My Life Were a Japanese Video Game

there would be many rainbows for today, haha.

Today was great overall-- but I'll try not to make it into a 3 part entry!

Woke up pretty early and went for a walk. I brought my Discman but I didn't even listen to the music because there were a few things bouncing around in my mind to think about. I did, I came back, I showered. After a quick run to the bank I spent the rest of my morning cleaning and gathering some things together for the yard sale (BUY OUR STUFF! Saturday, 8am-3pm!).

One o'clock rolled around quickly and thus began a little adventure that Travis and I had been planning. Sorry I can't go into more detail, but I swear it was nothing illegal or that would make Rich angry. That's allllll you need to know, haha.

We then spent most of the afternoon in Starbucks (big surprise, I know :p) and then hopped over to Newbury Comics for a few. It was after 6pm before we even knew it and since we were both hungry, we decided to have dinner at 7 Moons. Yes, all the rest of you can be jealous now, hehe. I had sushi rolls, Travis had General Tsao's, and we both split some beef fried rice, which I must say I like more than their chicken fried rice. Anyway!

After that, we were both broke so I drove us back to my house and we called it a night, but it was a fun and eventful day. ^__^

In other news, I tried calling about the horses several times this morning and several times tonight. Every time, I've let the phone ring a billion times, but haven't gotten any kind of answer or answering machine. Hmm. Since my Dad was the one to talk to her last night, I asked if she had specified what was a good time to reach her, but no luck. I'll continue trying over the next few days cuz it really is too good of an opportunity to pass up.

I'm serious about the yard sale, too. We have an insane amount of stuff, from ornaments to random books to I don't even know what. Everything's wicked cheap too, so if you're in the area it might be worth coming down. And if you bring me coffee, I might let you have some stuff for free (since I *am* the official money person :p), hehe ;)
I'll also be free that evening/night, but I might end up just staying at home cuz I spent a little more money than expected today! Or maybe I can swipe some from whatever we earn that day. v_V

Okay, it's time for some yogurt. Later!

Boring is Not a Word. . .

. . .that describes my life. Ever.

That's what my current away message says, and it's so true.

Remember a few months ago, when I saw an ad in Allie's Tack Shop from a woman I knew, looking for someone to take care of her horses? I called and as it turned out she no longer needed someone, but said she'd keep me in mind.

I actually had been thinking about that today as I looked over my saddle and bridle, lamenting how I'm going to have to sell them before we move.

Well.

As it would happen, I came home from work tonight and found a note on the kitchen counter for me, saying that Sharon, the woman, had called and would like me to call her back tomorrow. Maybe horses are in my future afterall! I'll try calling in the morning, since I'll be busy for an unknown amount of time in the afternoon. She had been looking for someone to do barn chores in the morning before; hopefully that's still the case since all my afternoons/evenings are going to be busy once school starts. I don't even care if I don't get to ride (actually, that would be more than okay since I'd need to buy a new helmet, boots, and half-chaps. . .remember?) cuz just being around horses again ups my happiness quotient.

Then, my Mom was in the kitchen while I was making my dinner and apparently her and my Dad have been talking. They were actually looking up one-bedroom apartments that I could possibly move into after I graduate-- think they're eager for me to move out? haha They even decided that as long as I work full time and am making a decent amount (I've actually heard that Target is not too bad and pays fairly well, especially people with prior retail experience. . .so it will probably be my immediate after-graduation job) they will help me get on my feet, so to speak.

Of course, even if I do get a little apartment, I still do not plan on working in retail and staying in Rhode Island for the rest of my life. But I'm thinking it *might* not be so horrible if I stay around for a year or two, cuz I will need to save money before I can move anywhere else. I'll probably feel like going to grad school by then, though right now I'm still undecided about what I'd go back for-- straight up History or Museum Studies or Historical Preservation. One of them. ::shrug::

Between me being so zen about my future plans and my parents suddenly being nice, I'm starting to wonder what's going on here, haha.

So yes, I need to call Sharon and go to the bank and hopefully find time for a walk/run all before 1 tomorrow. After that I do have some plans for the afternoon-- plans which are bound to be interesting, hehe-- but that's all I'm saying.

I never found out from Rich yesterday if he found out whether or not he's definitely going to Denmark. He went back home today with his friend who's visiting from Alaska, so I won't know until Monday unless we talk before then.

I had a brief, teary moment of saddness about the whole situation again today. I've been going back and forth lately between thinking either "everything's going to be fine no matter what" or "why does this have to happen to us?" I still wish for that life-fast-forwarding button sometimes.

Well, I'm not going to be up very late tonight since I have plenty to do tomorrow. 'til next time. . .

"Are You Feeling Okay?"

So this morning my Mom and I went for a walk. Not too unusual. What was unusual is that we actually talked. This happens like twice a year, so I was bewildered, haha.

At some point, after a lull, she dropped THE question again. I immediately asked "Why has this been such a concern lately? You've asked me this every day!"

She said there was no reason, but again asked if I *was* having any problems with eating or anything else and I said a definitive no. She said she was just making sure, and that she was not thinking so much about "the eating stuff" but about some of the physical problems I was having many months ago (notably, dizziness and a persistant pain/pressure in my right side). I said that that was fine now too and then that was it. End of topic.

My Mom can be very weird when approaching tough subjects, but I *do* think she cares and because she really does just want to make sure I'm alright. I find it slightly annoying (the daily questioning) but I guess it's the only thing she feels she can do. Like I've said many times, my parents and I do not generally talk about anything, nevermind my issues. We have only talked frankly about my ED twice. . .the other things I've been through, not at all. It's not a very comfortable situation for any of us, understandably.

I'm not sure if they feel as though they have failed me somehow. Certainly they questioned *why* I was resorting to self-destructive behaviors but I couldnt give them a straight answer. Even nowadays, it's hard to say why I have done/continue to do these things. There's no easy, clear cut answer.

They DID put a lot of pressure on me to know exactly what I was doing major/career-wise once I got to college. I spent my first years of college bouncing around from major to major (and even transferring to a different, more specialized school) because of this, once my original plans fell through. I felt like I couldn't ask to take some time off and figure things out without looking like a total failure in their eyes. But I don't think that's completely their fault. I *could* have said something.

I thought I had more to write on this subject, but I guess I don't.

I'm sad because I bought one of those dancing things from Newbury Comics tonight and it's not moving! v_v Hopefully we have the batteries I need at Brooks cuz I think the ones it came with are very near dead (it *will* dance when I push the button, but not at all otherwise). If not, I'm taking the guy back and I'll get one of the sunshine buddies instead. :p

And Matt, if you have not read this since the Boston entries, good luck with catching up (haha). Hope the move is going/has gone well!

Wow, We'd Lose

Originally from this page, posted here for your convenience. :p

Big Brother Nixes Happy Hour
NLRB Green Lights Ban on Off-Duty Fraternizing Among Co-Workers

It is a regular pastime for co-workers to chat during a coffee break, at a union hall, or over a beer about workplace issues, good grilling recipes, and celebrity gossip. Yet a recent ruling by the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB) allows employers to ban off-duty fraternizing among co-workers, severely weakening the rights of free association and speech, and violating basic standards of privacy for America's workers.
So how did the NLRB decide to weaken fundamental workplace protections? Security firm Guardsmark instituted a rule directing employees not to "fraternize on duty or off duty, date, or become overly friendly with the client's employees or with co-employees." In September 2003, the Service Employees International Union filed unfair labor practice charges with the NLRB against Guardsmark, claiming that the company's work rules inhibited its employees' Section 7 rights.
Section 7 of the National Labor Relations Act grants workers the right to "self-organization, to form, join, or assist labor organizations…and to engage in other concerted activities for the purpose of collective bargaining or other mutual aid or protection..." While the law allows employers to ban association among co-workers during work hours, Guardsmark's rule was broader in that it applied to the off-duty association of co-workers.
On June 7, 2005, the Board ruled 2 to 1 that Guardsmark's fraternization rule was lawful.1 The Board majority argued that workers would likely interpret the fraternization rule as merely a ban on dating, and not a prohibition of the association among co-workers protected by Section 7. But the dissenting member of the Board pointed out that since the rule already mentions dating, workers would understand fraternization to mean something else. She noted, "the primary meaning of the term 'fraternize…[is] to associate in a brotherly manner'…and that kind of association is the essence of workplace solidarity."
Growing Workforce, Shrinking Protection
Number of U.S. workers for every employee of the NLRB:In 1980: 30,1762In 2003: 69,4073
While there are reasons for employers to ban dating among co-workers (namely to prevent sexual harassment), prohibiting off-duty fraternization is something quite different. Such a ban inevitably chills collective action of any sort—be it on a purely social basis or related to employees discussing whether to form a union or not.
Since employers are not obligated to inform employees of their legally-protected right to associate with their co-workers, how can we expect any employee to assume that a rule banning fraternization doesn't interfere with these rights? And why would someone risk violating a no-fraternization rule, given that most employees work 'at will'—meaning they can be fired for no reason?
America's workers need more opportunities to come together to discuss vexing workplace issues, or just to make personal connections with those we spend most of our waking hours with. But the NLRB gives employers the green light to invade our privacy and chip away at our most basic rights in the workplace.

*******

I can't even imagine a rule like that being enacted at Brooks. Even though we rarely get together outside of work anymore (most of the old group's gone! :/ ), there's still a number of us that are friendly. Lora doesn't *like* us standing around chatting, but she's not insane enough to try and stop us. Not like we'd listen anyway.

Just found it interesting.

A World Without Sugar

One of my coworkers and I were discussing how horrifying the world would be if sugar had not been discovered. Need I mention that a bag of pumpkins was opened later in the day? haha (and for the record, I refrained! :p)

Yeah, work was very good today. I left my semester schedule, and if Lora gives me the shifts I chose, it'll look something like this:

Sunday = 1-9
Monday = off
Tuesday = 4-9
Wednesday = off
Thursday = 4-9
Friday = 1-9
Saturday = off

It's a few less hours than I have now, but I need time to do my schoolwork, too! I'm the type of person who needs plenty of free time or I go a bit crazy. I could never work full time and go to school full time like my friend Jen used to. Never, never, never.

So this morning, I was laying around reading when my Mom came into my room. Once again, I got "are you feeling okay? is everything alright?" thrown at me. I asked her, not in any mean way, what she was talking about. Her answer was something like "Remember when you were going through that. . .?" No Mom, totally forgot. @_@ heh, no, I didn't say that, but I knew what she was referring to (can't mention IT by name, oh no), and I just shrugged in a "yeah, so?" type of way. And then she was like "Well, I'm just making sure." But still no explanation of WHY this has suddenly become a concern again. If she brings it up tomorrow, I'm going to ask.

I'm not going to worry about it. *I* know that I'm doing relatively well, and that's what counts.

That's about it for news today. Tomorrow, Rich's friend who currently lives in Alaska is visiting New England for a week, so Rich is going to pick him up at Logan tomorrow morning. His friend will be staying at the apartment for a few days, so I will get to meet him tomorrow and we'll all go to dinner and hang out in the evening. The guys are going up to Vermont later in the week though, so don't know what I'll be doing on Thursday.

On Saturday we're having a yard sale from 8am-3pm and I've been recruited as the money person since cashiering is what I do best. :p So if you are around and think you'd be interested in buying some of our stuff, come on down. But I'm free Saturday evening and night so hopefully something will crop up. Or I'll just go to Starbucks, haha.

That's all. Gonna go read for awhile.

???

This morning I was pleasantly surprised when my parents asked if I wanted to go out to breakfast with them. I don't normally get to go out for breakfast, so even though spending time with my parents isn't at the top of my list, I said sure, why not?

It was an amazingly decent time. I often feel like my "family" is just three separate people who happen to live under the same roof, seeing as I do my own thing all the time and my parents constantly bicker. Anyone who's spent time at my house knows that it's not exactly a comfortable atmosphere. But the hour or so that we spent eating at Oatley's felt like the way a family *should* act together, at least in my mind.

I had a scrambled egg, two large banana pancakes, and a cup of coffee (black with Equal). I had never been to that restaurant before, but the food was really good and I finished every last bit.

So, yes. Everything was fine. When we got back home, I grabbed my usual sections from the newspaper and sat down at the kitchen table to read them. About a second later, my Mom came up behind me and was like. . .rubbing my back (?!) so of course I squirmed away and was like "what??!" (I'm extremely uncomfortable being hugged/kissed/touched by relatives, yes, including my Mom. I'm never this way with boyfriends, but with anyone else, I am a complete Ice Queen. No reason why. It just feels weird to me.) My Mom was like "Are you feeling okay?" which was completely out of the blue. I responded with a questioning "Yes. . .?!" because what had I done to make it seem otherwise? Furthermore, she's asked me this question (or "is everything okay?") several times over the past few days. What is up???

I don't think I've been acting differently at home lately. . .why would I? A few weeks ago, when I was sad/upset/anxious about the Situation, these questions might have been understandable. So the only things I can come up with are:

1) My neighbor mentioned something to her. My neighbor loves commenting on "how skinny" I am. I saw her last week and she was like "Have you lost *more* weight? You almost disappear from the side!" I think she is highly delusional, but I wasn't going to argue. Anyway, she knows that I've been ED'd. . .maybe she thinks I've been going at it again and said something to my Mom? My parents never comment on my weight, but I'm not sure if the same ten lbs I repeatedly gain and lose is really that obvious anyway. Maybe it is to my neighbor since she doesn't see me very often. I don't know. When she said that to me, I just shrugged and was like "I haven't been weighing myself, but I've been running more often, so maybe I have lost some weight." Which is all kinda the truth.

2) My parents have been using my computer when they want to go online. It's possible that they saw thinpages or lunchbox in my history and were like "hmm." Or hell, I have a whole Favorites folder for ED related links, so maybe they stumbled upon that. Not that I even visit those links with any frequency, but how would they know that?

3)I've been bad about cleaning my room lately and there are candy wrappers/empty food containers all over the place. Could be suspicious?

4) Maybe I didn't clean up the toilet very well last time. I'm so NOT going into details, but sometimes you get splash-back and maybe an undigested whole pea or piece of carrot or something didn't get flushed away. It could happen. I don't remember what I ate last time I did, so this one's merely a guess. Somehow I think this would have caused more of a freak-out, or maybe everyone's just used to it by now. :/

So we'll see if this continues. . .

Work was typical. The next few weeks are going to be hellish because we are losing *four* people after this week. And no, Lora has NOT hired anyone else yet! I have to hand in my fall semester schedule tomorrow, though I still haven't worked it out. I'll have to do that tomorrow morning, cuz I'm going to need some atypical hours, so the sooner I let her know, the better. Lora's always been good about giving me the times/days I need, so I'm not too concerned.

Finally, Travis pointed me towards this article earlier tonight and it's very exciting news! If you want to find out more about the Union Network International, their website is here, but beware. I like what the organization has set out to do with Walmart, etc. but their website needs some work. :p ;)

Good night!

Work Is Always a Treat

I can't say that today was a difficult day, cuz I didn't actually get away from the one-hour photo machine until the last half of the day. . .and even then not right away! I'd get four or five rolls all at the same time, finish them up, and then immediately get 4 or 5 MORE rolls in. This happened three or four times, and I was absolutely ready to scream. The only time I don't *mind* getting so much one-hour is when I have no other obligations besides ringing. But today I was supposed to be putting away the delivery for aisle 11, but it's impossible to get that accomplished when you have to run back and forth to attend to the photo machine every few minutes. I also had to be the second ringer from 1-4 because freaking Lisbeth decided she didn't want to anymore.

Rant: I am so very glad that she and Chris are finally, FINALLY over. Their relationship was nothing but head games and drama practically from the start. Why the hell they stayed involved as long as they did, I will never know. (hell, I will never understand why people make relationships so difficult, especially the girls I know. I actually feel bad for guys-- I think if I were male, I'd want to be gay, because girls our age are freaking insane. Do you really have to read He's Just Not That Into You to understand that?! Ho-ly), And Chris doesn't seem like the type of person to sit around and take that kind of treatment. I stay out of the mega-drama it's caused at work, but he told me a lot about it today, and damn. . now I'm glad she's leaving after next week. Ending this rant. . .

Okay, I have to review two candies I've recently tried for the first time. The first is the fabled Wonka Donut, which I mentioned previously. I thought I was going to love it, but that wasn't the case. It's basically a chocolate "donut", the inside of which is a softer chocolate, kinda truffle like, and the outside is speckled with rainbow colored candy sprinkles. My main complaint was the size-- it's not exactly huge, but by the last bite, I had already had quite enough! Maybe it's cuz there's not a whole lot of variety from bite to bite-- it's basically just a big ring-shaped chunk of milk chocolate, so it gets slightly boring. For $.50, there are many other chocolate bars I'd rather buy.
The second was a package of Cajetas Elegancitas-- literally means "Little Elegant Boxes" in Spanish, and there's a picture of some random Hispanic star on the front. No idea what that's all about, but the candy was good! We've had these for a long time, but with a full 35% of your day's sat fat, I always balked (most of my favored chocolate bars only have about 25%, and yes, that 10% makes a difference!). Anyway, there are two sticks to a package-- vanilla wafers coated with milk chocolate on the bottom half and with more drizzled along the top half, with what I believe was a creamy chocolate layer between the two wafers. It was very different from any more typical chocolate bar and yeah, I'd get it again. They're currently on clearance for $.29 at all Brooks stores, so I say grab a few now before they're gone for good.

Maybe I should just be a food critic. :p I cannot wait for the new Ben and Jerry's flavors to come out, but with my luck, only the Apple Crumble-esque one will be released in pint form. Yeah, haha.

Trash

I'm probably the only person at Brooks that doesn't mind taking the garbage/cardboard out to the dumpsters. As long as it's not really cold, heavily snowing, or downpouring, I don't see what's so bad about it.

You get exercise walking back and forth, and having to do a lot of lifting, etc.

You don't have to deal with annoying customers.

You don't have to worry about being buzzed up to ring, or asked to do anything else.

You can escape the ridiculous AC for awhile.

And because I'm me, I'll also add that it gives you time to think. I guess I'm a very introspective person. :p

I was thinking more about my future today (as I was cutting up Poland Spring boxes), not in any bad way. I was mostly considering where I want to be. You know I love planning ahead for everything, but this is one big thing that I really *can't* plan. At least, not right now. Kentucky has always been my Mecca, primarily cuz I like that part of the US and cuz there are lots of horses. And because the Kentucky Horse Park is there, which is a place I've been in love with since I first *read* about it, in an issue of Horse Illustrated back when I was a kid.

But my horrible time in Virginia taught me not to jump blindly into moving somewhere. I'd need to spend about a week in the Lexington area, just getting for a feel how actually living there would be. What's the cost of living like? How easy is it getting around the city and the surrounding areas? Is there actually stuff to DO (museums, parks, theatre, etc)? I'd need to volunteer at the Park to see if it's a place I could actually picture myself working at (preferably. . .or maybe I'd just be happy as a volunteer and working elsewhere). There are a lot of considerations.

Buffalo is another place I have semi-considered, despite the reputation it has for horrendous winters (I'd just hibernate, haha). When I was there last year, I looked into things like average cost of rent, etc. and found that there were a lot of good aspects. And maybe I could get a job at the Wilcox House, which is a small museum about Teddy Roosevelt, since that's where he was inaugurated after McKinley's death. I knew more than the guide did, not just about the McKinley assassination, but also about the attempted assassination on TR himself, which was either completely glossed over or not even mentioned. I forget which. I just remember telling my Mom (and consequently all the other people in the room, haha) about it, while the museum guide just stood there like ". . ." Afterwards we talked about assassinations a little bit, and every one he mentioned I of course knew about, every book he mentioned I had already read, haha. So yes, I could be the resident assassination expert and that would be just fine. ^__^

Anyway, it's just hard to know what I'm going to want to do in, say, a year's time. This is the first time I've been able to think about it and not have some kind of breakdown or major anxiety attack though. Yay, hehe.


*********

I hope the rest of you all read the Hell*Mart article I posted yesterday. I came across it on retailworker.com which is hosted by the IWW. It's such a tragic thing-- I mean true, no one knows whether or not the guy was just shoplifting for the hell of it, but I'd be willing to bet, as Travis mentioned below, that the guy probably couldn't afford the diapers (which are expensive) and it was his only option. Even if he *was* just stealing for no reason, the way he was treated is completely inexcusable and appalling.
And unless I'm mistaken, news of this incident hasn't really been released in any major news source. Not any I've come across, anyway. And I'm sure that's just how the minions of Sam Walton like it-- nothing wrong here. @_@

Well, speaking of IWW related stuff, I'm gonna go read now. I printed out the Constitution from their website and yup, I'm reading the whole thing. I already read the "One Big Union" article, but I want to learn as much as possible so I have a better idea of what I'm getting myself into, haha.

Oh, and if you've never played Katamari Damacy, why the hell not?? The premise of the game sounds like the stupidest thing ever (all the stars were accidentally removed from the sky, so now you have to roll bigger and bigger balls of stuff to replace them) but it is crazily fun and addicting. . .Rainbow Road! ;)

Lovely, Lovely Wal*Mart

The story's a few days old, but I just read about this and found it, um, interesting.

From the Cleveland Advocate:

Man Dies In Scuffle with Security Guards

A Cleveland man died last Sunday after a scuffle with security guards at the Walmart Super Center located at 6626 FM1960 in Atascocita.

According to witnesses, Stacy Driver ran out of the store and was pursued by Walmart loss prevention employees. A short time later, Driver was dead, and the Walmart employees were trying to explain the last moments of his life to police.

Charles Portz said he was getting out of his car when he saw a heavy blonde haired man being chased by five people who appeared to be security or store employees. He said he saw them wrestling the man to the ground. "The blacktop was extremely hot," said Portz "He had no shirt on and they wouldn't let him up off the blacktop." He said one of the men had Driver in a chokehold and had his knee in the back of his neck as the men tried to subdue him. "He kept trying to get up and they kept pushing him back down," Portz said.

According to Portz, Driver began to plead with them men. "He's begging, 'Please call an ambulance, let me up, do something, I'm gonna die," said Portz. He said the loss prevention employees called the police more than once, but another bystander called for an ambulance after realizing Driver was in trouble. Portz said he eventually began to plead with the Walmart employees. "I told them, this guy doesn't look like he's breathing," Portz said, "They said, 'He's all right." He says he continued to plead with the men, pointing out that the man's fingernails were turning gray. "They said he's just high on something," adding, "They just kept him pinned down for twenty minutes or more until the ambulance came." He said he believed Driver was dead when the ambulance left with him, but he was not certain.

The store employees could not have known that the witness who was pleading with them to let Driver get up from the hot pavement was a high profile Houston attorney, from the Portz and Portz law firm. He said after the man was handcuffed he continued trying in vain to persuade the Walmart employees to allow him to get up, even pointing out that a second pair of cuffs could be used to attach the ones already on Driver to a nearby truck trailer. "The problem is they kept him down on the blistering concrete with no shirt on," Portz reiterated. He said law enforcement arrived at about the same time as the ambulance.

Detective Robert T. Tonry, with the Homicide Division of the Harris County Sheriff's Department is investigating the death. He confirmed that Driver had struggled with Walmart loss prevention employees before being handcuffed and was not breathing a short time later. Tonry said he was transported to Northeast Medical Center in Humble where he pronounced dead. According to Tonry, some of the items Driver had in his possession which were believed to have been stolen were baby diapers, a BB gun and BBs.

Tonry said he was talking to store employees and would be contacting other witnesses. He said anyone else who might have information should contact the Homicide Division of the Harris County Sheriff's Department.

Driver was the son of H.C. Driver of Cleveland. Pat Driver was his step-mother and her sister Lily was speaking for the family on Monday. "The boy was loved and he might have done something wrong, but he did not deserve that," Lily said, "The family has no other comment at this time. "He would have celebrated his 31st birthday on August 31. Instead, his family is making funeral arrangements. As of this writing, the official cause of death had not been released.

BOSTON! the long entry (Part III)

Actually, this part could be called PROVIDENCE! but eh. Not as exciting.

I forgot to mention in the last installment (heh) that during our second trip to Starbucks, there was a creepy middle aged man glancing at me. Maybe he was just very interested in the Pan-American Exposition pin on my bag. ;p It's just weird because I'm usually super-sensitive to other people looking at me and this time I had NO idea-- though Rich/Travis both noticed. Oh well, one less Death Glare for me to dole out.

When I left off, we had gotten on the train heading back to South Attleboro. From this point on, I started feeling quite run-down even though it wasn't too late yet. I still don't know if it was from my lack of caffeine, having gotten up so early, or for another possibly not-cool reason that Rich and I are a little concerned about right now. Er, but that might be a whole 'nother entry, so just nod and smile at the last one for now :/ (And I swear it has NOTHING to do with the "conflict," which isn't much of one anymore). Unfortunately I was also a bit quieter than usual from here on out, due to feeling this way. The guys hit it off well, so I was glad to let them talk about their respective martial arts and stuff for awhile, haha.

About an hour later we were back at the "station" and with Rich driving, headed off to P Place. We had originally intended to go to the Cheesecake Factory but mall Chinese sounded like a better plan. Rich literally disappeared while Travis and I were in line and we honestly had no clue where he went, cuz, you know, it's easy to lose someone who's 6'4" and 250 or so lbs. :p But eventually he materialized (went to the ATM apparently, but I still don't know how you snuck by so well, haha) and we sat and ate and got some really pointless fortune cookies.

We were all very full by the time we left the food court and I was sure that my digestion was going to die cuz of the Chinese, but miraculously it didn't. Since it *was* around 9, Waterfire was our next destination. There was some Indian dancing thing going on, so the area where Rich and I usually go (with our cheesecake!) was packed. We stood around and watched one of the dances but then we kept moving, walking towards the slightly less crowded areas. Actually, Travis led us to a totally different area of Waterfire that Rich and I have always ignored for some reason. We usually just eat our cheesecake on the steps, walk around the Phantom of the Opera tunnels and then go back home, haha.

The rest of our time there was spent either making our way through the crowd (it was busier there than it had been in Boston!) or sitting down somewhere, looking out at the water. I don't know why, I was just feeling kinda meditative around this time. Maybe the new age music was getting to me, haha. Actually I think it's because we've never actually *just sat* at Waterfire before, not without the aforementioned dessert. :p In any case. . .

I think it was around 10:30 when we left (maybe?). I let Rich drive back to my house and I just popped Assassins into the CD player and zoned out. Sorry, Travis, musicals are the typical CDs of choice in my car-- hope it and Avenue Q didn't annoy you too much! ;)

The guys both left immediately after we got back to my house, I went inside, drank a big glass of water, wrote my short entry, and basically passed out.

Overall, it really was a good day. I probably *should* have had coffee at some point so I would have been less zombie like all evening. But at least I wasn't being quiet because talking would have ended up as bickering like last time. As I've said, this more than made up for *that* disaster of a trip!

If you actually read all three parts, you deserve one of these Wonka Donut things we just got at work today. I haven't tried one yet, but they look good and truffle-like. And if you read and respond you'll earn my undying devotion. Or the Wonka Donut. . . but don't tell me which you'd prefer, haha.

BOSTON! the long entry (Part II)

So we stayed in Ben and Jerry's for awhile, partially to have our drinks, and I'm sure partially because of the AC. Before long it was time to move on and we decided to ditch Newbury Street and go check out Boston Common, or, if I'm completely mistaken, whatever the nearby park was.

Luckily we found some shade near the swanboat lake (but they were NOT the pedal-it-yourself swanboats-- more like a boat that could hold a bunch of people with some poor soul sitting on the swan on the back of the boat, pedaling the whole thing by himself. And it didn't look like too comfortable of a job! O_o;;) so we sat down there for awhile. I took pictures of the nearby trees and the ducks (both of which look nice with the black and white film) and we saw some lady try petting this super-unafraid squirrel that was roaming around. We wandered around a bit (it wasn't a very big park) and stood around on the bridge for a few minutes before deciding to head back.

Now, I don't think any of us were paying too much attention to the time. I wasn't. Walking back from the Lucy Parsons Center, we had tentatively figured on taking the 4:50pm train back home. Our only other semi-early option was the 6:57pm train, but what would we do with the rest of that time? If we had decided on that earlier, we could have taken the T to Chinatown or something, but eh. We were kinda planning to go to the Cheesecake Factory back in P Place anyway, so leaving around 5 would be just right.

Heh, SO. . .

On our way out of the park, we came across some uh, "interesting" statue/fountain things. One was okay, it was just a moutain lion or something attacking a snake (haha, I don't remember. . .and I do have the picture but I'm too lazy to go check it) but the other was, well. . .let's just say it could be highly misconstrued. :p At first I was like "I am *not* taking a picture of that!" but no sooner had we walked away a few steps did I change my mind. So we went back, and I got a picture (which came out alright, but I should have gotten closer and gotten a slightly different angle. . .maybe if there hadn't been so many people around, haha) and life was good. We continued heading back towards Back Bay. . .

. . .when it came to my attention that was already 4:40, so we only had 10 minutes to get there. We were relatively close to the station, but would we be able to make it?

It was a valiant effort, but thanks to being thwarted by almost every traffic light, we got to the platform doors *just* as the train was pulling away. Now what? The next train wasn't for another two hours!

As usual, I had been hoping to use the bathroom before we left, but abandoned that idea so we could rush right to the train. Since that had fallen through, we headed back to the Starbucks we had gone to that morning for the bathroom and for more drinks. We just sat and talked for awhile and then decided to spend the last hour or so in this small grassy area in front of Trinity Church. We sat down by the fountain where I managed to sit in some random sticky substance. Go me! I think it was also around this time that I started to feel tired-- damn 7am waking time-- or maybe it was just the result of random toxins seeping into my body cuz I was dangling my feet in the water. With everything else floating in there, I wouldn't be surprised! hehe

And sadly, I had run out of pictures at this point because we came across a bunch more random/amusing things during our last hour. Well, maybe the lady will still be there next time we go, curled up on her side, hehe.

We left the fountain awhile before the train was scheduled to arrive, so we had more time to just sit around in the station. Besides almost getting on an Amtrak train heading to NY, there were no problems. I still wonder where that guy was headed, cuz if he was hoping for Providence, he was gonna be in for quite a surprise. o_o

*********

Gah, as much as I hate to do this, I think this is gonna have to be a 3 part entry! I need to shower and otherwise get ready for work, so that's about all I can say for now.

BOSTON! the long entry (Part 1)

Oi, where to begin?

My day got off to an unfortunately early start, as I woke up at 7am for some mysterious reason. I tried getting a bit more sleep, but it wouldn't happen. So I already knew I'd be zoning out later in the evening. :p

I had a bunch of things to do before 10:15ish anyway, like stopping by the ATM and putting gas in my car, etc. so I was up around 8am to make sure I'd have time. Rich got to my place a bit early, so I was still running around right up til when Travis showed up. Once he got here we wasted no time piling into my car and heading out.

We got to the South Attleboro "station" with no problems and with plenty of time before our chosen train would arrive. Train finally got there, we got on, found a seat, and all was well.

We got to Back Bay around 12:30 and immediately went to find a Starbucks since the women's bathroom was out of order and, well, you know me. :p Since there's a Starbucks on almost every corner, we didn't have far to go. Once inside, we decided to grab some things to eat before walking to the bookstore. I *finally* tried one of the chocolate glazed donuts (yes, it was really good), Rich had an apple fritter (to make up for the DD coffee roll he originally planned on getting that morning), and Travis had a peanut butter cookie (which I don't actually have a parentheses-worthy comment about, but I didn't want to break the pattern, hehe).

We ate and then it was back out into the heat for what wasn't too bad of a walk to the Lucy Parsons Center. As a side note, weather.com was totally wrong about yesterday. I checked in the morning and was dismayed to see a forecast of thunderstorms from 1pm straight through the night! We were still gonna go regardless, but not being able to be outside would have drastically changed things. But even as we were walking to the bookstore, it was obvious that it was NOT going to rain-- in fact, besides it being a tad too hot, it was really nice outside. And yeah, that's probably the first and last time you'll ever see me wish the temperature had been a little cooler. :p

None of us had *any* idea what to expect the Lucy Parsons Center to be like. It turned out to be a good-sized shop with a ton of books, zines and other assorted items on a variety of topics. Luckily, there was a small space in the back where we could sit and read. And we did for quite some time, while the guy who was working played a CD of some interesting Irish music, haha.

Approximately 29 hours later. . .

We all decided to buy stuff, and were surprised when the guy asked "Are you here cuz it's tax free day?" and of course we were all like "What?!" cuz we had no idea [and I do mean in all of MA, not just the store]. Can't say that was a *bad* surprise. I still managed to spend $26 on a graphic novel about the IWW and Looking Backward by Edward Bellamy, aka Leon Czolgosz's favorite book. Travis picked up a copy of the IWW's newspaper and a book (didn't catch what it was) and yes, even Rich got a book on globalization and a freaking hilarious comic strip book that I can't even describe. Was I just baptised by Voltron?? ;)

Anyway, the place was really cool and I'm sad that there's nothing comparable in RI. I guess there used to be a radical bookstore/record shop in Providence some years ago, but I've spent quite some time up and down Thayer St (where it was) over the past few years and have never found anything resembling such a place. There *are* 1 or 2 record stores, and one even sells punk zines, but I really doubt that's it. So yeah, Travis, I think we need to start something and hey, it can double as the RI Reds meeting space. ;)

I'm sure there will be more trips there in the future-- hell, I somehow missed half the store, but maybe that's a good thing cuz I probably would have spent more money! hehe

I don't remember exactly when we left the bookstore (and we went back to ask the guy what exactly that Irish music CD *was* but he was on the phone so we decided not to bug him again) but we had no real plans. We started walking back towards Copley figuring we'd decide on something along the way. And we did.

Cuz it was so hot and, I know with Rich and I, we were sweating quite a bit, and were pretty thirsty all day long. We decided not to go to Starbucks again, but thought we'd find some cafe or something to buy a drink and maybe some more food-- so, to Newbury Street (after getting by some ladies protesting the treatment of foie gras ducks).

Actually, I read the booklet last night, and it IS pretty bad. Damn animals rights activists for making me feel guilty, haha. Not that I'd ever eat foie gras anyway. I like trying new foods, but fatty duck liver is where I draw the line. x_x

Anyway, Newbury Street. We didn't have to walk very far before the gods smiled upon us and a Ben & Jerry's shop magically appeared. Ice cream on a billion degree day? Sounded good to me! All three of us ended up getting smoothies (although only Travis was cool enough to get offered banana in his, haha), although now I not-so-secretly wish I hadn't. They had three NEW flavors there that, as far as I know, haven't been released in pint form yet. Two of them sounded good (I don't remember the details right now :/) but one of them was a rehash of the most vile Apple Crumble flavor, which I could GLADLY live without. But the raspberry cream smoothie *was* quality, so I'll quit my bitchin.

*******

And as much as I hate to do this, there is a crazy amount of lightning around my house right now (highest point in NK, don't forget) so I think I'm gonna shut my computer down. I WILL continue this tomorrow morning, so stay tuned for part II!

It does get more interesting. >:)

BOSTON! soon

Would love to write the entry now, but I am waaaay too tired to even begin!

Maybe tomorrow morning if I'm feeling generous. ;)

Today more than made up for the NYC trip-- just wish I had gotten caffeine at some point so I wouldn't have been so tired/quiet later in the day. And maybe that I had had a few more pictures left on my camera so I could have gotten shots of the "dead" lady by the fountain and some of the other amusing things we stumbled upon later in the day.

Oh, and Rich only stepped on my heels once. ;p

I'm Tired of Thinking of Titles

probably cuz I write too much! But I figured that if I didn't write an entry today, after not writing anything *yesterday*, someone might start wondering what happened to me, hehe.

Nothing too exciting has been happening, which is why I didn't write. That's sure to change tomorrow with the long-awaited Boston trip-- yay!
You already know there will be a long, drawn out entry about that tomorrow night or Sunday. Our plans are pretty vague aside from heading to the bookstore, so who knows when we'll be back? Well, it's fine with me-- it'll be more adventurous than Rich and I sitting around watching a movie, as we usually do (or rather, watching the movie if you're me, falling asleep half way through if you're Rich). ;)

Anyway, I actually have a lot of little things to do tonight and I'll need to go to bed early because I have to *wake up* early and get a few more random things done before 10:15 or so. Blah.

So to those I won't be seeing tomorrow, ttyl and all that good stuff. ^__^

Why Have You Betrayed Me?!

The spider!

Rich will understand, hehe.

Tonight =

-Rich and I having dinner at 7 Moons (mmm, pad thai. booo, evil stomach)
-Rich and I going to Sports Authority to get me new running sneakers
-Rich and I stopping by Cumbie's on the way back for something sweet and dessert-like. I know I said I wouldn't, but Hostess cupcakes hold a special place in my heart. I couldn't just leave them there. :p
-Rich falling asleep shortly after returning to the apartment
-Me sitting around because I've nothing else to do

You know, I went to some stores in Warwick today hoping to find a pair of shorts. I don't have tons of clothes as it is, so all I wanted was just one more pair to have on-hand, no particular style in mind, how hard could it be?

Apparently I'm about 4 months too late. There were no shorts AT ALL in ANY of the stores I went to-- at least not in the juniors' departments. I knew they'd already have jeans and sweaters and stuff out, but expected to at least find some *clearance* summer items. Nope! So that was thoroughly annoying. I think I'm heading to P Place on Thursday anyway, so maybe one of my expensive stores will have a thing or two laying around.

It's utterly ridiculous how early stores get ready for the coming season. Not just clothing stores, Brooks is guilty of this too. We seriously put out Halloween stuff starting on the 1st of August. We already have Xmas stuff in the backroom! Hell, I was talking about Cadbury Creme Eggs recently and was like "that's okay, I know Brooks will have them in January." I jokingly said to Joyce the other day that we should just make the seasonal aisle have stuff from *every* holiday, year round. That's what it's gonna come down to eventually cuz as it is, we start getting ready for the next holiday a little bit sooner every year. Bah.

You know what else is depressing? Rich and Rob and I *should* have gotten the $19.55 tickets to see ASU when we were in NY. The balcony prices were raised, and now the cheapest ones available are $39.99, which is still cheap for a Bway show, but more than I could willingly spend. People on the Bway boards have said that they'll probably implement a Student Rush policy by the fall, assuming this price change is permanent. Not sure how cheap tickets would be with that, so. . .? I'd actually be willing to dish out $$ for a full price ticket again because at least I know that I enjoy the show. Sure, it would be easy to find discounts and cheaper tickets for a popular show like RENT or Wicked, but do I *want* to see something like that? Erm, right. I'd much rather stay home and watch various Sondheim shows on video for free! ;p

Okay, perhaps I will also go to bed early tonight. I have nothing with me to do, and don't particularly feel like playing video games. Plus, the longer I stay up, the more appetizing the leftover pad thai will seem, and I'd much rather save that for breakfast.

Goodnight!

For My Own Purposes

logging

2 soy sausage patties
1 cup of 100% pear juice
2 chocolate chip cookie dough Pop-Tarts
1 rye cracker with Brie
veggies, soyrizo, salsa, cheese mix
3/4 cup of Kashi cereal
lf cottage cheese with mandarin oranges
2 squares of Swiss chocolate
1 can of tuna with relish and ff mayo
3 crab rangoons with duck sauce
1/2 (?) a dish of pad thai noodles with chicken from 7 moons
2 Hostess cupcakes

Yeah, it's a lot, but hell. I *did* go running today, so that has to count for something.

Really skinny women who obviously do nothing but work out a lot annoy me. There was a girl like that in Sports Authority tonight, also trying on sneakers. You can just *tell.* Or at least I can, cuz my Mom is of that rank. It's good to exercise, but come on now.

Or maybe I'm just angsty cuz I enjoy eating too much and I'll never be a waif. That could be it. :p

I might be starting a blog *just* for food logs and related rants sometime soon. I'll keep writing in here about everything else, of course, but it's something I'm considering.

FMC Mystery?

So I was getting ready to play the bass when a bunch of tab sheets I had printed out fell from the lesson book. As I was picking them up, I noticed writing on the back of one of them. It turned out to be a bit of story I had written, but I sure as hell don't know when.

Not a lot happens in the scene, and it looks like I was leading up to something bigger-- but I have no idea what! Since I'd like to think I know my story and my characters inside and out, this is very troubling because nothing of importance has happened in quite some time. So what the hell was I planning to write?

In other news. . .not much. I worked today and it was alright. "Kevin" has been so unbelievably good to work with lately, it's almost scary! Oh, and speaking of. . .the past few times I've worked, a kid has come in who looks EXACTLY like my ex-boyf Kevin-- except that he probably weighs 100 lbs less, haha. Seriously though, the first time I saw him I was like what. the. fuck. I honestly thought Kevin had dropped some weight and found out where I worked or something! O_o Luckily, this kid is definitely not him, so that's a big relief. :p

The only other thing of interest that's happened at Brooks lately was last week, on one of the days I didn't work. I guess Nicole got in an *argument* with Lora about something, and it escalated into a yelling match, complete with slamming doors. Yikes. Um, needless to say, Nicole is no longer a Brooks employee. :/
I've only heard bits and pieces of the story, but I'm surprised that it happened. I don't think Nicole/Lora were overly fond of each other, but if the argument was over the trivial thing that I was told, then Nicole obviously *wanted* to be fired. I'd get into it, but I doubt it interests anyone very much. In any case, it was completely unexpected and I'm sorry to see her go.

All for today. I'm going to bed early cuz there's a lot of things I want to do tomorrow. G'night!

Log de Comida

I don't know how to say "log" in Spanish. :p

an apple with lf peanut butter
pad thai noodles with soyrizo and spicy Veg-All (such a good combo)
3 squares of Swiss chocolate
1 rye Wasa cracker with brie slathered on top
some dates
a Pria bar
blueberry bagel
1 can of chicken and pasta soup, with added in veggies
lf cottage cheese with mandarin oranges

Bravo, you win!
hehe, no one who reads this is gonna get the reference-- unless Nick sees this.
Anyway, a good day, on all accounts.

But I don't feel like writing for once. O_O

It Evaporated. . .See?

what else would we say if Ben Folds had never written that line? haha

Anyway, yeah. . .there WAS a long entry here, it was up all of Saturday, but I decided to take it down. It's not deleted, I've saved it, but I don't feel like having it read right now. If you saw it, great-- and I'm still welcoming responses. If you missed it, don't feel bad. It was a usual "uplifting" entry and hell, perhaps it'll reappear in a few days.

There were some things that made me happy today, including the aqua-marine streaks in my hair, brie ::swoon::, and that the Boston trip is only a week away. ^__^ Oh, and Matt, if you didn't see the original entry, I *did* get your invitation and you'll be receiving the RSVP thing soon cuz Rich and I are definitely going!

Foodish Day

First, the log.

almond butter and jelly on wheat
most of a 100% white grape juice box
1 can of veggie soup with soyrizo added in
few scoops of maple walnut ice cream with some chocolate sauce (not digested in entirety)
blueberry bagel
1 Pop Tart
1 Snickers Marathon bar
1 packet of onion Thai noodles with veggies added in

Guess that's it, but I'll have some dried cherries/dates/almonds tonight, I'm sure.

I need to cut ice cream out of my life again though. At least when I'm alone. You know what I mean by this (and from the above hint). ._.

Anyway, we had a brand new type of Pop Tart at Brooks today-- Strawberry Milkshake. Yeah, it sounded gross to me too, so naturally I wanted to try it! hehe Thankfully Chris bought a package, so we both had one. Meh, can't say I'm a fan. The filling is that weird, creamy consistency that was a big reason I didn't like the Hot Fudge Sundae kind. And to make it even worse, it has the same fake, overly sweet flavor that's usually used in strawberry flavored candies. The box recommends *freezing* these PTs before eating them, but we just had them at room temp. I'm not sure they'd be any better cold; definitely couldn't imagine them heated. >_< Chris thought they were okay, but this flavor gets a big thumbs down from me.

Speaking of work, we're currently short handed because two people are on vacation and one girl's last day was yesterday, which is unfortunate because she was one of our more competent newbies. It's a good thing that "Kevin" and I have been on better terms recently because Sunday night it's going to be JUST him and I for the last few hours. Bah. I hope we get another Sunday evening person real soon cuz that's one of our busiest days/times.

That's about it. I could go off on another whiny tangent, but I won't. Rich, I know you're going to read this and I'm going to say it again: I know you want to stick around and be here for me (and you *will* be if you don't have to leave until April!) but please don't let that stop you from going to Denmark if that's what you really want to do. I mean it. Besides, you leave me all the time anyway; so this is just an extended version of that-- I'll just pretend you're in Vermont the whole time ;p hehe

Alright, now I'm done. Talk to you all later!

A Few Things

1) Rich told his company that he wouldn't go to Denmark unless he wouldn't have to leave until like May or June of next year. This makes me feel both relieved and entirely needy, since he mostly wanted to stick around to make sure I'm gonna be okay. But I tried making it clear that if it's something he really wants to do, by all means he should. I don't want to be a stumbling block. :/ Anyway, that *does* turn down the stress level a few notches.

2) Came across the blog of a RI anarchist-- actually, I think he was one of the people mentioned in the Phoenix article awhile ago-- and also that of his wife, who's into union activities and all that. They both have interesting things to say, so now I have even *more* stuff to read online. Yay! hehe

3) I still have no food because I didn't go shopping yesterday. x_x I'm gonna have to have cereal for lunch. Again. haha
Probably won't go to Whole Foods just cuz I still have plenty of the things I can only buy there. Maybe I'll go to P Place though, just to browse cuz I really don't need anything besides running sneakers. Or I can wait and go at night, so I can buy a slice of cheesecake and go to waterfire all by myself. :p I still wish I had some pygmy goats so I could be "the girl walking the goats." That would be awesome, haha.

:*(

Gah, I have spent too much time crying between last night and today.

Nothing has really changed, but.

To make the current "situation" potentially worse, Rich may be heading to Denmark for a year, possibly 2 starting later this year.

It's one thing for us to break up, it's another thing if he's going to be moving to another continent shortly thereafter. :(

Yeah, I know it would not be long term, but still. I'm sure that the end of this year and the beginning of next year are going to be stressful for me. Even if we aren't still together in a couple-type way, I want Rich around. He knows me better than anyone and has already helped me through so many ups and downs over the past few years that. . .I don't know. It's so hard to picture living without him here. :(

I don't want to prevent him from doing what he wants to do. He's worried that going away might contribute to, say, another big-time ED relapse. I can't promise that wouldn't happen. BUT, keep in mind, I have NO IDEA what my life will be like at that point. Especially after I graduate, obviously I will be in RI for awhile, but where will I be working? Living? Hell, there could even be someone else in my life by then, not that that would negate my wanting Rich around in any way. In any case, everything's uncertain. Maybe life will surprise me and maybe things will really come together so that Rich being far away will still be painful, but not devastating. :/

I feel like I've been whining about this a lot, but it's a really tragic thing. Maybe it's hard to understand if you've never been in a similar situation, never had a long term relationship end for a trivial reason. Since this is going to be the *second* time this has happened to me, I must admit it makes me leery of future relationships. It's not that I'm codependent or anything (heh), but I like having someone *there,* that one person that I can be 100% myself around, during good times and not so.

And there is never going to be another Rich. That's the most painful thing to think about. :*(

Ugh, excuse me, more tears.

Rich asked me earlier this evening how I dealt with Nick and I breaking up. The short answer is: I didn't. It was a very different situation. I was upset/sad/angry, sure, but let's not forget that I was also 900 miles from RI. We continued talking on the phone almost every night, so not much changed. It wasn't until I came home for Xmas break that the situation really sunk in, and by then I had so many other issues on my plate (hah), it wasn't even the main thing.

Nick promised that we'd stay best friends afterwards though, and we did remain friends for a long time. . .frequent IMs, calls, and I used to visit him at URI very often. But as time went by, sure enough my life kept moving ahead and although we remained friendly, we had both loosened our grip on each other considerably. Once *I* started going to URI and started dating Rich, it was definitely the beginning of a new phase in my life.

And now, I guess, that phase is ending so another new one can begin. ::sigh::

On a happier note, we did indeed go to Cold Stone Creamery tonight and it was SO GOOD. I got sweet cream ice cream with snickers and reeses pb cups and Rich got the same ice cream with oreos. The portions are ridiculously huge (our mediums were practically a pint!) and well worth the price. There are so many different combinations of ice cream flavors and toppings you could get, you could probably go there every day for several months and never get the same thing twice. Mmmm mmm! hehe (And my dear stomach behaved itself, which was highly surprising. Actually, since my slip-up last week, I've had almost NO reflux or digestive woes. Maybe doing it once in awhile isn't a terrible thing? v_V)

Yeah, so.

ETA: Oh, and I found out that the Sweeney Todd revival is gonna be in the theatre where Good Vibrations used to be, haha. *That's* quite a switch! Too bad this weird version of ST isn't anything I'm interested in seeing. >_<

Psh, Titles

Tomorrow!

Okay, I really DO need to go food shopping cuz this is getting ridiculous. I'll probably run in the morning and then go to Stop & Shop unless I'm horrendously sweaty and gross. I need to go to the Asian market near URI at some point too cuz I need more rice noodles (and Pocky!). I imagine they'll be cheaper there than at, say, Whole Foods.

Rich and I are going to the Cold Stone Creamery tomorrow night and oh my god, I cannot wait! I was looking at their menu online and I don't know HOW I'm going to decide on what to get (you choose an ice cream flavor as your "base" and then pick from a long list of things like candy, fruit, cookies, etc. to get added in and they blend it up for you right there). O_o;; I don't know how much it costs per item-- if I could, I'd just get everything thrown in, hehe.

Today was another non-exciting work day, so I have nothing much to write about again. I'll probably be up late tonight though, so throw an IM my way. :p

Otherwise Known as "The Beach Disappeared"

um, yeah, Rich and I drove around this evening looking for some beach in Charlestown that wasn't there. Don't look at me, it wasn't my idea. ;) Maybe we can find it another time, haha.

Today was more relaxing than exciting, but that's fine with me. I went to B&N and stayed for well over an hour. I brought a pile of books, maps, and magazines with me into the Starbucks area and looked through them all. They lose so much money from me every month, haha. I wasn't gonna get anything to eat or drink, but eventually I was lured by the berry cheese bars (or whatever) and had one-- and it was incredibly delightful. It was like cheesecake, but different. OH! It was like those Philly cheesecake *bars* that I love! Yeah, *that's* what they reminded me of.

Afterwards I went to the park, but I just sat under a tree and wrote in my scandalous notebook (which is becoming less so, much to my dismay :p). Didn't walk or run or anything.

Here's a story:
Before I found a place to sit, I stopped by one of the sketchy bathrooms (surprise!). As I was about to enter the doorway, I was startled by a big black dog literally jumping out at me. The scary, leather skinned, overly made up old lady who was holding his leash must have thought I was frightened, not, you know, just surprised that a fricken' dog leapt out of the bathroom randomly.
"Oh, don't worry," she said, laughing. "He's the sweetest thing, he won't hurt you."
Of course, everything was fine. She went her way, I went mine, but I completely disagree when pet owners say things like that. I've spent enough time around animals to know that you can NEVER know what they're going to do.
Leo (my horse) was very good about being tied. Some horses get antsy and move around, some pull back on the rope, but my horse was usually a saint. I was smart enough not to take chances though-- I prefer nylon halters, but always made sure to buy ones with leather headpieces behind the ears. That way, if my horse were to get in trouble while tied, the halter, not his neck, would break. Sounds paranoid? Horses are surprisingly delicate creatures despite their size and it *has* happened in too many instances. So I never took the chance of using a cheaper, all-nylon halter and one day that paid off.
I don't even know what happened. One minute my horse was standing quietly in the barn aisle, and next thing I knew, something happened outside that startled him and sent him *leaping* backwards with his head in the air, pulling the cross ties taut. It all happened so fast, I didn't even have time to *think* about unclipping the ropes from the wall. Luckily, the leather headstall broke and Leo, equally startled for a moment but then realizing he was free, casually walked back into his stall, haha. If he *had* been wearing a completely nylon halter, it's very likely that this could have ended tragically. You just never know, with horses or with any animal. It doesn't matter if your pet has never done something in the past, the chance is always there.

End of rant.

Anyway, Rich and I went to our usual deli for dinner and then, as I said, we drove around trying to find some beach. On the way back we stopped at the Wakefield Starbucks and both got green tea frappuccinos. The rest of the ride to my house was spent lamenting our situation but we've agreed that it's better for us to talk it over than to keep ignoring it. I have nothing else to add about it here that hasn't already been stated, so. . .

The rest of the week isn't looking too exciting. Tomorrow I work, Thursday I have no plans during the day, Friday I work, Saturday everyone I freaking know is busy or out of state so I don't have plans, and Sunday I work. I'm sure I'll figure something out, but you know me, I like having knowing in advance what the hell I'm going to be doing. ;p

That's enough. Reading time!

ETA: I dyed the blond streaks blue yesterday (but of course they came out looking green), but only half way-- like how I had the purple/red in. Tomorrow I'm going to re-dye them so there's no more blonde. Just felt like sharing. :p

Surprisingly Little to Say

Worked yesterday and today and both days were alright, nothing special. "Kevin" may be off my shit list though because he's actually been friendly lately. O_o Well, I'd rather be on good terms with him anyway, so hopefully it's a trend that will continue.

Told you, I really don't have much to say!