Today was Weird
The barn was fine, but it was SO COLD. My fingers and my toes were numb the entire time-- even when I was getting ready to leave, after moving around for 2+ hours!
Then I came home, ate, and decided to check my usual message boards. Randomly found a post on one of the ED ones from this girl I knew in high school. She's also been ED'd, longer and more so than myself, and we've ended up posting on the same message boards over the years. Anyway, I guess she reads ICA because she really, really made it sound like she was talking about me-- someone that's a little shorter than her, 10 lbs more, not very ED'd but gets encouraging comments anyway. But the kicker was she said I "drive her up the wall" and that I'm the only person that makes her feel that way! I was just like "what?" We haven't talked, not in person, not on AIM, not even on the boards for years. I've come across her posts, sure, but to be honest, she had all but fallen off my radar until this morning. Hell, I took her sn off my AIM list a *long* time ago; I guess she still has mine. So yeah, I mulled on what she said a bit and then wrote my response. Checked the message board just now and she didn't reply to any of the responses she has gotten to this point. I have no hard feelings towards her, like I said, I'm just confused why she even cares to keep following me online at this point.
Around 1 o'clock, I went to work. I walked up into the office and there's a huge note on the bulletin board-- apparently Lora is pissed at how many people have been asking for days off and/or switching their schedules/availiability around. Now she wants a MONTH notice unless there is an emergency situation. Since I've recently asked for some days off myself, I was not feeling good about this note. I've tried to give her as much notice as possible, and I've always included my reason why in my note (not emergencies, but, for instance, I told her I was required to go see a play last night for one of my classes), but nevertheless.
Right underneath her note were schedules for the next three weeks. I don't normally check the schedule since I always have the same days, but something compelled me to check them out. And good thing I did. Lora took me off Thursday afternoons and put someone else on instead. Now I *definitely* was feeling well, heh. Lora doesn't usually cut hours unless she's really, really pissed. Maybe the solidarity sign put her over the edge with me. :p
Chris and Heather were around and probably saw me looking a bit pale, cuz they asked what was going on. I told them and they were both pretty surprised since Lora normally is lenient with me and tends to treat me well. Seriously, I can't impress upon you non-Brooks people enough how not-good a sign it is to have one of your days taken away. I started to fret quite a bit, feeling like now I can't be even a little late (like when Rich and I come home from VT/NH on Sunday) and I really shouldn't ask for any more days off for awhile. See, I had originally asked for October 9th off because my parents were supposed to move into the condo that day and I was going to help. But now something needs to be fixed and we won't be moving until later in the month, which means I'd have to ask for a different day off. But now I guess I can't/shouldn't.
Much later in the day, after Lora had left (and she didn't seem angry at me or anything; normally she gives people that are on her shit list the silent treatment, but she was fairly normal with me) I decided to ask the kid she put on Thursdays instead if he had requested that day or what. Turns out that he *had.* That made me feel a little better, but still doesn't explain why she kicked me off instead of one of the other girls.
This isn't completely bad news though. Remember how I was going to ask to work fewer days at the stable? I saw Sharon just the other morning and reminded her, but it turns out she is having surgery next week and *needs* me to keep working every morning for at least the next month since she won't be able to move for most of that time. I was very reluctant and ready to put my foot down, but now I guess it will work out afterall.
So, that's the scoop.
Last night was good. I saw the one-man play Marx in Soho at school with Travis and a girl from my class who also knows Travis, haha. The show was really good, both the content and the acting. I know from experience that even short monolouges can be challenging-- I can't imagine doing an entire play by oneself! So yeah, the two of us drove over to Starbucks (I bet you never would have guessed :p) and stayed there until they were almost ready to close. Also, this creepy guy who kept glacing at Travis offered us chocolate before he left. I thought about taking some, but then I was like "wait, why am I taking food from the sketchy man?" haha Anyway, we stood around outside for a bit and talked some more, but eventually we left. It does take me about 40 minutes to drive home from there, afterall!
Okay, time for soup and maybe some We Love Katamari before bed. Matt's wedding is tomorrow! Should be a good time. :)
Then I came home, ate, and decided to check my usual message boards. Randomly found a post on one of the ED ones from this girl I knew in high school. She's also been ED'd, longer and more so than myself, and we've ended up posting on the same message boards over the years. Anyway, I guess she reads ICA because she really, really made it sound like she was talking about me-- someone that's a little shorter than her, 10 lbs more, not very ED'd but gets encouraging comments anyway. But the kicker was she said I "drive her up the wall" and that I'm the only person that makes her feel that way! I was just like "what?" We haven't talked, not in person, not on AIM, not even on the boards for years. I've come across her posts, sure, but to be honest, she had all but fallen off my radar until this morning. Hell, I took her sn off my AIM list a *long* time ago; I guess she still has mine. So yeah, I mulled on what she said a bit and then wrote my response. Checked the message board just now and she didn't reply to any of the responses she has gotten to this point. I have no hard feelings towards her, like I said, I'm just confused why she even cares to keep following me online at this point.
Around 1 o'clock, I went to work. I walked up into the office and there's a huge note on the bulletin board-- apparently Lora is pissed at how many people have been asking for days off and/or switching their schedules/availiability around. Now she wants a MONTH notice unless there is an emergency situation. Since I've recently asked for some days off myself, I was not feeling good about this note. I've tried to give her as much notice as possible, and I've always included my reason why in my note (not emergencies, but, for instance, I told her I was required to go see a play last night for one of my classes), but nevertheless.
Right underneath her note were schedules for the next three weeks. I don't normally check the schedule since I always have the same days, but something compelled me to check them out. And good thing I did. Lora took me off Thursday afternoons and put someone else on instead. Now I *definitely* was feeling well, heh. Lora doesn't usually cut hours unless she's really, really pissed. Maybe the solidarity sign put her over the edge with me. :p
Chris and Heather were around and probably saw me looking a bit pale, cuz they asked what was going on. I told them and they were both pretty surprised since Lora normally is lenient with me and tends to treat me well. Seriously, I can't impress upon you non-Brooks people enough how not-good a sign it is to have one of your days taken away. I started to fret quite a bit, feeling like now I can't be even a little late (like when Rich and I come home from VT/NH on Sunday) and I really shouldn't ask for any more days off for awhile. See, I had originally asked for October 9th off because my parents were supposed to move into the condo that day and I was going to help. But now something needs to be fixed and we won't be moving until later in the month, which means I'd have to ask for a different day off. But now I guess I can't/shouldn't.
Much later in the day, after Lora had left (and she didn't seem angry at me or anything; normally she gives people that are on her shit list the silent treatment, but she was fairly normal with me) I decided to ask the kid she put on Thursdays instead if he had requested that day or what. Turns out that he *had.* That made me feel a little better, but still doesn't explain why she kicked me off instead of one of the other girls.
This isn't completely bad news though. Remember how I was going to ask to work fewer days at the stable? I saw Sharon just the other morning and reminded her, but it turns out she is having surgery next week and *needs* me to keep working every morning for at least the next month since she won't be able to move for most of that time. I was very reluctant and ready to put my foot down, but now I guess it will work out afterall.
So, that's the scoop.
Last night was good. I saw the one-man play Marx in Soho at school with Travis and a girl from my class who also knows Travis, haha. The show was really good, both the content and the acting. I know from experience that even short monolouges can be challenging-- I can't imagine doing an entire play by oneself! So yeah, the two of us drove over to Starbucks (I bet you never would have guessed :p) and stayed there until they were almost ready to close. Also, this creepy guy who kept glacing at Travis offered us chocolate before he left. I thought about taking some, but then I was like "wait, why am I taking food from the sketchy man?" haha Anyway, we stood around outside for a bit and talked some more, but eventually we left. It does take me about 40 minutes to drive home from there, afterall!
Okay, time for soup and maybe some We Love Katamari before bed. Matt's wedding is tomorrow! Should be a good time. :)
posted by Erica at 8:33 PM
4 Comments:
Marx in Soho was superbly brilliant! I can't stop talking to people about it. For someone like me, who's always saying those things, all I could do was nod my head in agreement.
The great part about this play is that some people from my classes had gone to see it as well. When I got there the next day they were talking about it, and I asked them what they thought and they said, and I quote "it was amazing!" There is hope for some of these kids yet!
And yeah that guy was strange at Sbucks, I don't know why he kept looking at me, nor do I know why he wanted to give us candy? lol
Random thoughts:
Are you reading too much into the other girl's posts. Are you certain she is talking about you?
If she is, it sounds like her own issues which she is trying to resolve by projecting it on to you. That is, her problem which she is ascribing to you.
Some people do that. They can't work through their issues on a blog or a diary or with a shrink or a friend, so they project them onto others in order to try to avoid them.
But it also might not be you. You might be reading too much into it.
----
Regarding the retail job: Be careful. Work places mess with your head.
It has to do with the imbalance of power between you and your manager (that is, they get all the power, you very little) and the dependency you have on your job (ie to pay the bills).
Also the lack of open communication
and support between managers and staff tends to exaserbate things.
Beware of internalisation. Interalisation of the work place goals and heirarchy can happen. That is you start placing the company's or the manager's desires, wants, goals above your own - without being asked or rewarded for doing so !!! You actually start doing crappy things towards yourself - getting yourself to work crappy hours to please the manager in your head!!!
And the manager in your head is seldom satisfied and pays crap.
---
My advice on the jobs - keep on your toes and look after yourself. You may be able to keep your wages and conditions higher by servicing several jobs - ie the horse and the retail place - which it sounds like you are doing.
If one starts demanding to much you can focus more on the other one to earn the money to pay your bills.
Also, over the long term, by adding more and better jobs over time, ditching the ones which aren't working for you any more, you could also use your intelligence and cleverness (which you have in spades) to navigate you to a job/work situation which works best for you.
Just read:
2+ hours in the barn. I hope it's still rewarding for you.
On the pay front, you could consider tatics for asking for a raise. You could argue:
Super woman couldn't clean the barn in 1hr - so the job doesn't pay $20 an hour.
You have extra costs which are eating into the pay - ie cleaning your clothes and boots, petrol and transport costs.
You being doing the job for a some time now and you have become much better at it than when you began.
This means you are more productive, which means you want more money, because you are delivering a better service.
You have shown that you are responsible/dedicated woman. You are in the top quartile of barn workers, and deserve more money for that.
---
Another tack would be to look for other stables in your area (using the yellow pages), and tell them that you have several months experience cleaning stalls, looking after horses and see if they are willing to pay you more.
If they are, you can either go work for them, or talk to the woman boss and say these people are prepared to pay me this much. If you want to keep me, you will have to match it.
I know it sounds harsh - but I think it's a way people need look after themselves.
---
In regards to timing: do some exploration and investigation and planning first. This will build up
your confidence and allow you to bargain for yourself better.
Travis-
Yeah, that's good to hear about the other people enjoying the play. Should be interesting to hear what the other kids in my class thought.
And now you know how I felt when we were in Boston and you guys said that dude was looking at me in the Starbucks there. :p
Pax-
The situation with the girl is kinda complicated and would take a whole new entry to explain fully! I'm very, very certain that I *am* the person she was referring to- but I know that it's *her* problem, not mine, so it hasn't really bothered me.
As for my jobs:
The situation with the barn/my retail job is actually fine right now. I was upset about getting my hours at Brooks cut, but I *had* been considering asking for a few less hours anyway-- so it worked out in the end. That's also why I'm not upset about Sharon asking me to keep working at the barn every day for the next month or so, because now I will have the time.
Also, I just want to clarify that she never said I would be earning $20 an hour. She said I would be making $20 per day-- it was *me* who, before I started working there, thought it would only take me an hour to do everything everyday, thus it would be like earning $20/hour. So now it's like making $10/hour, which is not bad at all. There aren't many horse farms in my state, so barn workers in general are not paid very well. Most of them are just volunteers or making minimum wage ($7/hour, I think), so what I make working for Sharon is probably above what I'd be offered at other barns. Of course, if I did decide to work at a different stable, I *would* ask for what I'm currently earning or more, because I *do* have the experience and skills.
Thank you for the comments, as always. :)
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