NOT HELPFUL
I hate the URI counseling center. I thought I just had a bad therapist last time, but no. Unless I've just gotten unlucky a second time, the method that they use is just awful.
I was having a pretty good day today, but since I left therapy, I've been feeling worse. Much worse. Bad enough to binge as soon as I got home. >: ( That would NOT have happened if I had not gone. Something's not right about that.
I don't even know exactly how to describe what the problem is. It's like she listens to me, but I feel like she wants me to constantly PROVE why I am there. Like what I'm saying isn't so bad, and that she thinks I'm too willful or something, so I won't see things her way. Not saying that's actually what's going down, but that's how it feels to me. I wish I could give a really good, clear example of what I mean. I just feel like SHE is very condescending (in a way) and not listening. As a tiny example, she wanted to call Health Services and make an appointment for me to go for the first half of my examination with the psychiatrist. She wanted to make it right then and there, but next week I have stuff going on so I wasn't entirely sure of my schedule. I told her I would rather wait and make the appointment next week. Big deal, right? She was like "You can't even think of ANY times you're going to be free next week?!" WTF?! WHY IS THAT SUCH AN AWFUL THING?!?! I do NOT think I was being unreasonable and she freaking lashed out at me. I mean, she honestly looked/sounded annoyed by this! It made me feel awful and I was already feeling like 2 seconds away from crying cuz we had been talking about FMC and it's a touchy subject. She doesn't seem to get that either. She doesn't seem to understand that I can't just "turn it off" and she was like PRESSURING me to write out my stories and try to publish them. And then when I said it's not something I want to do because they are so personal, again, she got all huffy. She seemed to think I am just being difficult and that I secretly know that's what I should do. Or something. ARGH. Randi and I are both upset, so take that biatch. >:(
Anyway. . . .I'm sticking with it for the rest of the semester. She may be one of the people that continues seeing students during the summer, but I will only-- ONLY-- keep seeing her if the situation turns around. We are still technically in the "beginning" stages, with me telling her about all my stuff, so maybe once we get past it she will be helpful. At this point, I am doubtful.
Maybe I should just get some good self-help books instead and figure it out for myself. ~_~
I was going to Ayurveda, but I don't feel like it now. I need to make dinner.
I was having a pretty good day today, but since I left therapy, I've been feeling worse. Much worse. Bad enough to binge as soon as I got home. >: ( That would NOT have happened if I had not gone. Something's not right about that.
I don't even know exactly how to describe what the problem is. It's like she listens to me, but I feel like she wants me to constantly PROVE why I am there. Like what I'm saying isn't so bad, and that she thinks I'm too willful or something, so I won't see things her way. Not saying that's actually what's going down, but that's how it feels to me. I wish I could give a really good, clear example of what I mean. I just feel like SHE is very condescending (in a way) and not listening. As a tiny example, she wanted to call Health Services and make an appointment for me to go for the first half of my examination with the psychiatrist. She wanted to make it right then and there, but next week I have stuff going on so I wasn't entirely sure of my schedule. I told her I would rather wait and make the appointment next week. Big deal, right? She was like "You can't even think of ANY times you're going to be free next week?!" WTF?! WHY IS THAT SUCH AN AWFUL THING?!?! I do NOT think I was being unreasonable and she freaking lashed out at me. I mean, she honestly looked/sounded annoyed by this! It made me feel awful and I was already feeling like 2 seconds away from crying cuz we had been talking about FMC and it's a touchy subject. She doesn't seem to get that either. She doesn't seem to understand that I can't just "turn it off" and she was like PRESSURING me to write out my stories and try to publish them. And then when I said it's not something I want to do because they are so personal, again, she got all huffy. She seemed to think I am just being difficult and that I secretly know that's what I should do. Or something. ARGH. Randi and I are both upset, so take that biatch. >:(
Anyway. . . .I'm sticking with it for the rest of the semester. She may be one of the people that continues seeing students during the summer, but I will only-- ONLY-- keep seeing her if the situation turns around. We are still technically in the "beginning" stages, with me telling her about all my stuff, so maybe once we get past it she will be helpful. At this point, I am doubtful.
Maybe I should just get some good self-help books instead and figure it out for myself. ~_~
I was going to Ayurveda, but I don't feel like it now. I need to make dinner.
posted by Erica at 5:03 PM
1 Comments:
(It's Calgs.)
I don't want to be a prick by saying this, but many intelligent people with a "disability" of sorts never really figure out what's wrong with them, and never do they ever get the problem to go away. However, a lot of people use their "disability" (for lack of a better word) for something productive. Think of the guy in "A Beautiful Mind" and his problems. Kinda like that. I know of other examples, I'm sure, but I'm having a brain fart. Anyway, for you, writing and publishing your works may very well be beneficial. Nobody (other than your therapist and a few select friends) has to know where the characters are from, or whatnot. Your stories, or at least the older ones I read from your high school and early college years, are very good.
Glad you're sticking it out. They say three sessions is what it takes anybody to give a "thorough" examination of the therapy sessions and accurately conclude whether or not they may be beneficial. Hope they get better!
Now, if I can find a way to get OTHERS to go to therapy (like my parents)... :
-Matt
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