Gotta Stop Thinking
I am rather torn over this job situation.
To be perfectly honest, I don't normally like being in a "leadership" role-- tell me what you want me to do and I'll probably try my hardest to get it done well, butI'm not typically the well-spring of ideas. :p
I mean, I know that I'd undergo lots of training plus the whole 5-weeks of shadowing someone, but I guess I just don't like the idea of jumping into a brand new environment with tons of new responsibilities in a ridiculously high ranking position. All I really wanted to do was work in a department! haha
Of course I need to get through the first interview before I should think about any of this other stuff. I hate interviews. I hate having to bullshit answers to stupid questions instead of being able to just say how you really feel and risk not getting the job. Seriously. "So, why do you want to work for this company?" "Um, I don't really care about the company AT ALL, I just want a decent salary so I can afford an apartment and other basic necessities and some health insurance." Yeah, I can see that going over well-- naturally you'd be expected to say how great you think the company is, both the store itself and how the various ways they help the community are just the best things going. Stupid, stupid, stupid.Does anyone REALLY give a shit?? (Now granted, there are some companies that I would not have to bs on this particular question for-- the Kentucky Horse Park for example. I loved that place before I even visited it and I DO think they provide a great services not only to the horse industry [such as by hosting events such as the US Pony Club Finals and the Rolex 4-star 3-Day Event] but for the community in general [such as a program that gives inner city children a chance to work around and learn to ride horses, who would otherwise not be able to]).
Ugh, writing that just made it glaringly obvious to me where I should be. Haven't I always said that I don't want to be stuck in some awful job for the rest of my life? But I looked into working at the Kentucky Horse Park and in order to be employed there, I'd need to be a KY resident first since it's all through the state government. So I'd need to be doing something else during the 6 months or whatever that I'd need to live there first. And I've been keeping my eyes open. I've searched for other jobs in KY, but nothing has cropped up.
For all I know, maybe this job at Target wouldn't be too bad. Hell, the assistant managers at Wal*Mart seemed to just walk around all day and be treated like demi-gods for it. @_@ I just need to keep in mind that I can choose to back out at any time but I need to at least give it a shot first. Cuz actually, if I did get the job, after 18 months at the store I begin with, I could transfer elsewhere-- and there are several Targets in the Lexington area! So I could always move and continue doing that until I become a Kentucky resident and can apply at the Horse Park. That's not a half-bad idea. As I've said, we'll see what happens.
To be perfectly honest, I don't normally like being in a "leadership" role-- tell me what you want me to do and I'll probably try my hardest to get it done well, butI'm not typically the well-spring of ideas. :p
I mean, I know that I'd undergo lots of training plus the whole 5-weeks of shadowing someone, but I guess I just don't like the idea of jumping into a brand new environment with tons of new responsibilities in a ridiculously high ranking position. All I really wanted to do was work in a department! haha
Of course I need to get through the first interview before I should think about any of this other stuff. I hate interviews. I hate having to bullshit answers to stupid questions instead of being able to just say how you really feel and risk not getting the job. Seriously. "So, why do you want to work for this company?" "Um, I don't really care about the company AT ALL, I just want a decent salary so I can afford an apartment and other basic necessities and some health insurance." Yeah, I can see that going over well-- naturally you'd be expected to say how great you think the company is, both the store itself and how the various ways they help the community are just the best things going. Stupid, stupid, stupid.Does anyone REALLY give a shit?? (Now granted, there are some companies that I would not have to bs on this particular question for-- the Kentucky Horse Park for example. I loved that place before I even visited it and I DO think they provide a great services not only to the horse industry [such as by hosting events such as the US Pony Club Finals and the Rolex 4-star 3-Day Event] but for the community in general [such as a program that gives inner city children a chance to work around and learn to ride horses, who would otherwise not be able to]).
Ugh, writing that just made it glaringly obvious to me where I should be. Haven't I always said that I don't want to be stuck in some awful job for the rest of my life? But I looked into working at the Kentucky Horse Park and in order to be employed there, I'd need to be a KY resident first since it's all through the state government. So I'd need to be doing something else during the 6 months or whatever that I'd need to live there first. And I've been keeping my eyes open. I've searched for other jobs in KY, but nothing has cropped up.
For all I know, maybe this job at Target wouldn't be too bad. Hell, the assistant managers at Wal*Mart seemed to just walk around all day and be treated like demi-gods for it. @_@ I just need to keep in mind that I can choose to back out at any time but I need to at least give it a shot first. Cuz actually, if I did get the job, after 18 months at the store I begin with, I could transfer elsewhere-- and there are several Targets in the Lexington area! So I could always move and continue doing that until I become a Kentucky resident and can apply at the Horse Park. That's not a half-bad idea. As I've said, we'll see what happens.
posted by Erica at 11:11 PM
2 Comments:
Best advice I have ever had for interviews - treat them as a game. They are just a hoop you have to jump through to get the job. They' not really real. They're not a heart to heart with friends. They're just a unreality that happens.
So it's just an unpleasant game which has to be played.
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Jobs, I have always found, are more bearable if they are part of a larger, more meaningful, personal context.
That's why I think working towards a goal - such as Kentucky Horse Park - will get you through all the shittier jobs you have to do to get there.
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With the leadership role - The training sounds good and their unlikely to throw you to the sharks in your first months. If they do, you can take the training they gave you, recover from your wounds and look for someone else better suited to your talents.
I said I'd answer your comments tonight, so I will. But this is rapidly becoming something I don't even want to think about anymore. of course I'm going through with the interview on Friday, and I'll do the best I can, but I'm totally not into it anymore.
I've been reading up on interviewing all day and it's just been dragging me further down. I just hate the whole obvious-fakeness of the answers your "expected" to give. I can't express how much I hate it. And there are so many questions that, quite honestly, if they get thrown at me, I don't know how to answer. I am not the type of person who thinks quickly on my feet. I like time to think through things, which is why I'm much better at writing than speaking!
But even if I do make it to the second round, I'm just so unprepared and not motivated TO be prepared. I have nothing to wear to an interview, hell, my resume isn't even completely done! I just feel like I'm trying to force myself into a mold that I'm completely wrong for and it's making me miserable.
And re: the KY idea. . .I've been going back and forth on what I "really" want to do for so long, that's just what struck me at that given moment. I haven't had a career goal since majoring in pre-vet didn't work out. That was all I ever wanted to do, and I was completely wrong for that too.
I'm feeling such a heavy burden right now. Both working-wise and social life-wise, I feel like I have nothing good to offer anyone anymore. Other people are so much more capable, have such better ideas, are more fun, are just plain better that I don't even see the point to existing anymore. I've done everything that I was put on this earth to do, so I might as well quit. As I said in ICA, I'm giving things a week to improve. And if they don't. . .well, we'll talk then.
Matt, I saw you IM. You should have come down anyway-- I would have waited! heh
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