Fruit Cake and Prozac. Yum.
First of all. . .Sarah, if you're still reading this, I *did* see your horse-related note! I'm just really, really, really slow about responding to my comments. Always have been, always will be (hehe). I was actually planning to write another horse related entry soon, but I've been sidetracked. I'm sure it'll happen some time in the near future. ^__^
So anyways. This morning was another awful "I hate my job, I hate my life, I hate the world" fest. My mind just takes off in these crazy directions, without warning and usually without any hope of me being able to *make* it go away. I hate when it happens, and I've been this way for years. People who have known me for awhile know this. ._.
Well, I decided to take some of my leftover Prozac, cuz I figured it would either just not work (since it's pretty old) or it would help. I took it around 4:30 this afternoon, and I have been feeling noticeably better since about 7:30. Thing is, I don't know if it's just my mood making another swing of its own accord or if the meds actually kicked in. Prozac always worked VERY fact for me, so it's possible. I'll know for sure if my appetite totally dissapates within the next few days.
I don't mind being on Prozac. The ONLY problem is that I don't have many pills left and I would need another prescription in order to get more. Unfortunately, my parents are in the middle of switching doctors (this affects me too, since we all go to the same one) and last time I got the pills, there was a problem with my insurance that I would have had to get my parents to fix. I wasn't keen on telling them I needed meds again, so I just got the generic pills and paid full price (only $25, but still). If I wanted to stay on the Prozac now, I'd pretty much have to get them involved. I *could* say that I'm getting panic attacks/anxiety again, which is not altogether false. But as you and I all know, the ED is the real problem-- and the Prozac helps IMMENSELY with that. I do NOT want to dig up that particular issue with them again though. They think (or at least my Mom does) that I instantly recovered after that one workshop back in February of 2004. If I told them that no, that was not the case, they'd want to know *why* I'm doing it again and that would mean getting into a billion more things than I'm comfortable telling them. So even though I HATE lying, I really think it would be better for everyone in this case. But I'll have to see if the Prozac is even working first.
Once my mood improved, work was actually okay tonight-- except that I found out that one of my favorite managers, Sarah, gave her two weeks recently. :( So Chris and I were discussing if we're bound to import a new shift supervisor from another store AGAIN or if Lora will finally promote one of us slaves. He agrees that I SHOULD be the first choice but the fact that I am DEFINITELY LEAVING in December is a big mark against me. Even though I *would* probably have to decline if Lora offered the position to me for that exact reason, I'd just be glad that she *asked.* If she doesn't even at least OFFER it to me and promotes someone else (I'm the oldest cashier AND I have the most seniority) I will be pissed. And maybe I *would* leave sooner. I guess we'll worry about that when the time comes.
I have also been comissioned (sp?) to make a fruitcake for my coworkers, haha. You see, since Xmas, we've had these big containers of the candied fruit that you put into a fruitcake that, obviously, no one bought. They went on clearance for $1.49 for awhile, and I jokingly told one of my coworkers that if their price ever dropped below a dollar, I would buy them and make everyone an awesome fruitcake. Well, after months and months, wouldn't you know that they FINALLY dropped to $.49? hahaaha So now I have to make fruitcake (even though I'm not a huge fan of it and I've never even THOUGHT about making one before!) and it has to be decent cuz everyone wants to try it! haha So I need to google some recipes and try out whatever one sounds least nasty. This'll happen within the next few weeks. Should be amusing. o_o ^____^
That's about it. I swore I'd work out my upper body tonight, so I best get to it before my motivation wanes. :p
So anyways. This morning was another awful "I hate my job, I hate my life, I hate the world" fest. My mind just takes off in these crazy directions, without warning and usually without any hope of me being able to *make* it go away. I hate when it happens, and I've been this way for years. People who have known me for awhile know this. ._.
Well, I decided to take some of my leftover Prozac, cuz I figured it would either just not work (since it's pretty old) or it would help. I took it around 4:30 this afternoon, and I have been feeling noticeably better since about 7:30. Thing is, I don't know if it's just my mood making another swing of its own accord or if the meds actually kicked in. Prozac always worked VERY fact for me, so it's possible. I'll know for sure if my appetite totally dissapates within the next few days.
I don't mind being on Prozac. The ONLY problem is that I don't have many pills left and I would need another prescription in order to get more. Unfortunately, my parents are in the middle of switching doctors (this affects me too, since we all go to the same one) and last time I got the pills, there was a problem with my insurance that I would have had to get my parents to fix. I wasn't keen on telling them I needed meds again, so I just got the generic pills and paid full price (only $25, but still). If I wanted to stay on the Prozac now, I'd pretty much have to get them involved. I *could* say that I'm getting panic attacks/anxiety again, which is not altogether false. But as you and I all know, the ED is the real problem-- and the Prozac helps IMMENSELY with that. I do NOT want to dig up that particular issue with them again though. They think (or at least my Mom does) that I instantly recovered after that one workshop back in February of 2004. If I told them that no, that was not the case, they'd want to know *why* I'm doing it again and that would mean getting into a billion more things than I'm comfortable telling them. So even though I HATE lying, I really think it would be better for everyone in this case. But I'll have to see if the Prozac is even working first.
Once my mood improved, work was actually okay tonight-- except that I found out that one of my favorite managers, Sarah, gave her two weeks recently. :( So Chris and I were discussing if we're bound to import a new shift supervisor from another store AGAIN or if Lora will finally promote one of us slaves. He agrees that I SHOULD be the first choice but the fact that I am DEFINITELY LEAVING in December is a big mark against me. Even though I *would* probably have to decline if Lora offered the position to me for that exact reason, I'd just be glad that she *asked.* If she doesn't even at least OFFER it to me and promotes someone else (I'm the oldest cashier AND I have the most seniority) I will be pissed. And maybe I *would* leave sooner. I guess we'll worry about that when the time comes.
I have also been comissioned (sp?) to make a fruitcake for my coworkers, haha. You see, since Xmas, we've had these big containers of the candied fruit that you put into a fruitcake that, obviously, no one bought. They went on clearance for $1.49 for awhile, and I jokingly told one of my coworkers that if their price ever dropped below a dollar, I would buy them and make everyone an awesome fruitcake. Well, after months and months, wouldn't you know that they FINALLY dropped to $.49? hahaaha So now I have to make fruitcake (even though I'm not a huge fan of it and I've never even THOUGHT about making one before!) and it has to be decent cuz everyone wants to try it! haha So I need to google some recipes and try out whatever one sounds least nasty. This'll happen within the next few weeks. Should be amusing. o_o ^____^
That's about it. I swore I'd work out my upper body tonight, so I best get to it before my motivation wanes. :p
posted by Erica at 9:04 PM
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