Stuff and Stuff, Etc.

First off, just wanted to thank the person who left me a comment on my Assassins CD review. I like hearing from other people, particularly their views on other Sondheim shows/recordings. I actually used to lurk and occasionally post at Sondheim.com's Finishing the Chat but I hightailed it out of there a few months go. Why? Well I felt guilty when I promised two different people some sources/typed up primary articles on some assassins and then never did! :X I know, I know, that's a pretty minor offense, but I still feel bad. ._.

In other news. . .

I feel so like crap right now. Today was just another bad day eating-wise. I'm really having a problem with it, despite my best efforts. I feel like the "good" days are far and few between. The only decent thing I can say is at least I'm exercising on a consistent basis. Otherwise. . .?

So let's see what I had today.

a whole wheat bagel with margarine and apricot preserves - fine
2 graham cracker rectangles - probably unnecessary
curry; brown rice, 1 yellow squash, about 1/2 cup black beans, 1 tomato, most of 1 plantain, and a bunch of spices - had this for lunch and at work; fine
about three scoops of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Therapy - I wasn't even hungry, so this was definitely not necessary; no reflux-y problems
2 pieces of mango pickle -- god, I love you
2 fudge Reese's cups - craving chocolate, despite the ice cream; totally impulsive; not okay
1 small bag of Smartfood - only 100 calories, but this was after I ate the big container of my curry that I brought along (to work); I was upset bout having had the chocolate before, and so I felt that getting rid of this 100 calories was a necessity. ::barf:: ._.
1 Cadbury Creme Egg - total impulse snack ::barf:: ._. ._. x a billion
1 oatmeal raisin cookie - does it even matter at this point?
1 can of New England clam chowder - would have been okay if I hadn't snacked so much today; no reverse peristalsis of the esophagus, heh

Being at work is SO HARD because there is food EVERYWHERE, and all of it is crap. If I had not been at work today, I would not have had the Reeses, the smartfood, nor the creme egg. I very likely could have gone without purging. I feel like I am doing worse in that aspect of my semi-ED'd life. I feel like I am doing it more than before, which I don't think is a correct observation, but it feels that way. The past few times it has been out of necessity (eating lots of soup in one sitting leads the problems quite often) but I guess, when it comes down to it, it still counts. As I sit here writing this, I'm also reading an article in the New York Times' Magazine titled "My Addicted Son." Though he's talking about meth use, one of the son's quotes resonated with me: "How the hell did I get here?. . .This isn't so much sad as baffling. It all seemed so positive and harmless, until it wasn't." Different, but same.

Well, that's all I have to offer for now. I'm listening to the Dresden Dolls and liking it. I'd say that you should too, but you know how I feel about people copying me. ;P