So It's Been

a little over a week since Rich and I split. As I've said, nothing much has changed, not in a big way. I actually think living together is making it a little easier, which is funny because when most people find that out, the usual response is something like "how does THAT work?!" We actually don't see each other that much. . .our schedules are pretty opposite, so that when I'm home in the evening, he's not and vice versa. But we do get to see each other at night and in the morning before we head out and there are always Saturdays, which we both have free. Even if we were together more often, there's no reason why there would be problems since, as you know, we didn't break up over some awful catastrophe.

It's only going to get weird if or when one of us starts seeing someone again. Even though I've already stated that he can do whatever he wants dating-wise since I technically don't have a say anymore, I already know I'd feel big pangs of jealousy. I know I'd have to deal, but they *would* be there, that's just how I am. :/ Rich has already said it'll be impossible for him to date anyone while we're still sleeping in the same bed, and maybe he has a point, haha. Well, I'm not going to stress over it unless the situation arises.

Since it IS only about a week later, I'm definitely not "looking" for anyone, but you could say I have my eyes open. There is this one punk kid in my philosophy class that I might try striking up a conversation with. We had to introduce ourselves to the class last time and as always, we had to share something interesting we had done or were into. You already know what I said. :p But this kid was sitting right next to me and was like "Yeah, I'm actually going down to the big anti-war rally in Washington DC [whenever it is], so I just hope I don't get beat down or arrested or anything." Awesome, hehe. So yeah, maybe I'll try talking to him, find out what other types of issues he's interested in and all that. Hell, I can always use another friend, especially someone else who may be interested in activist type stuff. I know I'm generalizing in a big way, but I've found that "punks" can be real assholes (ie. that kid in my Spanish class in TN. . .if you know what I'm referring to, this needs no clarification), but I guess I'll never know unless I say hi. And I wasn't really getting that negative vibe, so we'll see.

Even once some time *does* go by, it may be harder for me to find someone this time around. First of all, I'm so used to shooting guys down *immediately* if I think they're being too friendly just cuz I'm so used to being with someone already. It's not always in a mean way, but. . .
Chris is a good example of this. The last time I returned to Brooks, about a year and a half ago, he had just transferred to our store. We worked together fairly often and it became obvious that he was flirting with me, so I wasn't rude, but I did act a little reserved towards him and I made it well known that I was with Rich. Eventually he cooled things down and as time went by we simply became good coworkers/friends. There's been other people at work that he's been more "clingy" with, but he's admitted recently that I'm the only person there he'll actually tell the more serious, secret stuff to because he knows I'm well outside the drama that carries on there. Nevertheless, aside from us *verbally stating* "yes, we are strictly just friends and are going to stay that way," it's very clear. And that's cool. But I usually don't end up becoming friends with the person in question, though that has happened on a few other occasions too.

Right, back to what I was saying.

Secondly, and it does tie in with the first thing, I'm notoriously picky. After going out with Kevin, I learned that there were some things I was simply NOT going to tolerate in a boyfriend ever, ever again. Rich, however, passed with flying colors. ^__^ But it's another reason why, even now that I'm single, I'll still shoot people down. There are some things I'm willing to bend on, but other, important things, no way.

So, to sum it up, I might as well go buy about 60 cats now cuz they're probably going to be my only companions for the rest of my life, haha.

Today was a pretty good day. There was an adorable little frog near the big water bucket that I wasted about ten minutes trying to catch and/or take a picture of, hehe. Unfortunately he got away from me and somehow buried himself within the grass so I couldn't even see him anymore. He'll be back though, it's not the first time I've seen them around. And the deer. . .! There weren't a bunch today, just a doe and two fawns that I seriously wanted to kidnap and bring back to the apartment cuz they were also so cute it should be illegal. What can I say, I love animals. :p I planned on getting a good picture *after* I turned the horses out, but just my luck, Jerrold started galloping around and bucking when I let him go, which immediately startled the deer. All three of them disappeared into the woods within seconds and didn't bother to come back. Blimey.

I went to Goddard Park later in the day and just layed down in the shade for awhile and wrote some in my journal. It was the perfect day to be outside and I would have stayed longer but I needed to go back to the apartment before class so I could change into some shorts (yeah, I had been wearing jeans but it was a *tad* too warm for them today). While I was on the grass I saw a *very* strange black bug that I tried getting a picture of. What's with the plethora of strange insects lately? At least we haven't found any more huge, scary ones in the apartment again. Just the smudge on the wall from where Rich crushed the other one is a LOT bigger than any insect should leave! O_o;;;

Class was pretty unexciting today, but I'll probably be able to bring up anarchists next time, so that should be fun, hehe.

Anyway, it's just about dinner time so I'll go whip up a salad or something and then read through Kierkegaard again.