I Need to Write
Um, yeah. Tonight I overheard a phone call I was DEFINITELY not meant to hear.
(If you're looking for my entry about Thursday, it's the one before this one [and for the record, I'm feeling a bit better. Actually, I just ate the rest of the donut that killed me, haha].) ^__^
So. What happened.
I was just laying around reading, as promised, when the phone rang. My Mom had been in bed for awhile, so I wondered if I should pick it up as two, then three rings went by. Did I mention it was past midnight? The phone stopped ringing though, so I figured it had woken my Mom up.
Phone calls so late at night are not usually a good thing and always make me nervous, especially cuz right now, my Dad is away for National Guard stuff (in CA). So, kinda curious, I crept out into the living room (my Mom was on the phone downstairs, in her bedroom) to hear what was going on.
"Did you get my message?" my Mom asked. "I just wanted to talk, that's all."
Yawn. Figured it probably *was* my Dad. Crossed the room to grab some Kleenex from the bathroom.
When I was coming back, I stopped again to hear more, just to make sure everything was okay.
"You just want companionship. . .Well. . .I'm trying to understand. . ."
What?
"What about the other day, when you were supposed to leave the back door unlocked. . .?"
Okay, phew. I was home the other day when my Mom went running and asked my Dad exactly that. So it *was* him. But what about this companionship thing?
More stuff about wanting to talk about it and understanding, etc.
"I just want to know what's going on. . ."
Make that two of us!
"You know I was thinking of you before I went to sleep. Chris, I'm so glad you called."
My Dad's name is NOT Chris.
My Mom does not have any *friend* named Chris, as far as I know.
Who the fuck is Chris? What is going on?!?
At some point she also asked him if he had to work tomorrow. My Mom told me earlier tonight that she was going out to dinner with a (female) friend tomorrow night, but wasn't sure where yet. I don't even know what to make of that now.
I've heard other conversations between my Mom and her friends where she expressed a lot of unhappiness over things my Dad does and the way he acts. Admittedly, some of the things she's complained about, *I* wouldn't stand for. Then again, I also have a backbone and I'm not afraid of showing someone the door. :p Obviously it's easier when you're not married, but still. My Mom has no backbone, and no job. Without my Dad, I don't know WHAT she would do and I bet that's the number one reason why she stays.
I don't know. There is SO much secrecy in my family. On the surface, we all usually act like nothing's wrong when we're together. But I've heard my parents fight, and I've heard my Mom's phone calls, and man, there's stuff I don't even want to mention. But it's all a glaring sign that something uncool is up.
And of course I'm more secretive with them than I am with anyone else. Anyone! People I *work* with probably know more about me than they do. They act like they don't care if ever I try saying something of substance, so I've learned to save my breath.
A prime example of this was earlier today, when my Mom and I went out for dinner. We basically drove there in silence (okay, fine, she mentioned some lipstick she just bought) and then walked to the building in silence (oh wait, she mentioned a nailpolish she just bought). We sat down, and I was waiting for her to say *something.* Freak, she didn't even ask how Starbucks had been, probably because her usual response to my mentioning the place is "Blech, I don't know how you can drink that stuff!" (but the donuts are great! haha). So I tried mentioning this or that, but she gave me the most paltry responses possible. Then I just gave up and we ate in silence. And drove home the same way.
So, around 1 o'clock, an hour or so after "the phone call," I went downstairs to get the rest of the donut. My Mom must have head me, cuz she yelled out from her room, "I can't sleep either!" Yeah, I wonder why not.
Obviously, I have no idea what's really going on. But it's still disconcerting.
(If you're looking for my entry about Thursday, it's the one before this one [and for the record, I'm feeling a bit better. Actually, I just ate the rest of the donut that killed me, haha].) ^__^
So. What happened.
I was just laying around reading, as promised, when the phone rang. My Mom had been in bed for awhile, so I wondered if I should pick it up as two, then three rings went by. Did I mention it was past midnight? The phone stopped ringing though, so I figured it had woken my Mom up.
Phone calls so late at night are not usually a good thing and always make me nervous, especially cuz right now, my Dad is away for National Guard stuff (in CA). So, kinda curious, I crept out into the living room (my Mom was on the phone downstairs, in her bedroom) to hear what was going on.
"Did you get my message?" my Mom asked. "I just wanted to talk, that's all."
Yawn. Figured it probably *was* my Dad. Crossed the room to grab some Kleenex from the bathroom.
When I was coming back, I stopped again to hear more, just to make sure everything was okay.
"You just want companionship. . .Well. . .I'm trying to understand. . ."
What?
"What about the other day, when you were supposed to leave the back door unlocked. . .?"
Okay, phew. I was home the other day when my Mom went running and asked my Dad exactly that. So it *was* him. But what about this companionship thing?
More stuff about wanting to talk about it and understanding, etc.
"I just want to know what's going on. . ."
Make that two of us!
"You know I was thinking of you before I went to sleep. Chris, I'm so glad you called."
My Dad's name is NOT Chris.
My Mom does not have any *friend* named Chris, as far as I know.
Who the fuck is Chris? What is going on?!?
At some point she also asked him if he had to work tomorrow. My Mom told me earlier tonight that she was going out to dinner with a (female) friend tomorrow night, but wasn't sure where yet. I don't even know what to make of that now.
I've heard other conversations between my Mom and her friends where she expressed a lot of unhappiness over things my Dad does and the way he acts. Admittedly, some of the things she's complained about, *I* wouldn't stand for. Then again, I also have a backbone and I'm not afraid of showing someone the door. :p Obviously it's easier when you're not married, but still. My Mom has no backbone, and no job. Without my Dad, I don't know WHAT she would do and I bet that's the number one reason why she stays.
I don't know. There is SO much secrecy in my family. On the surface, we all usually act like nothing's wrong when we're together. But I've heard my parents fight, and I've heard my Mom's phone calls, and man, there's stuff I don't even want to mention. But it's all a glaring sign that something uncool is up.
And of course I'm more secretive with them than I am with anyone else. Anyone! People I *work* with probably know more about me than they do. They act like they don't care if ever I try saying something of substance, so I've learned to save my breath.
A prime example of this was earlier today, when my Mom and I went out for dinner. We basically drove there in silence (okay, fine, she mentioned some lipstick she just bought) and then walked to the building in silence (oh wait, she mentioned a nailpolish she just bought). We sat down, and I was waiting for her to say *something.* Freak, she didn't even ask how Starbucks had been, probably because her usual response to my mentioning the place is "Blech, I don't know how you can drink that stuff!" (but the donuts are great! haha). So I tried mentioning this or that, but she gave me the most paltry responses possible. Then I just gave up and we ate in silence. And drove home the same way.
So, around 1 o'clock, an hour or so after "the phone call," I went downstairs to get the rest of the donut. My Mom must have head me, cuz she yelled out from her room, "I can't sleep either!" Yeah, I wonder why not.
Obviously, I have no idea what's really going on. But it's still disconcerting.
posted by Erica at 12:09 AM
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